blessed

Night Falls

2011-10-05T00:57:00.002+08:00

So tired, but I just can't sleep.
Decided to get onto youtube and Adele totally brought my soul away with her voice... Very soothing and meaningful indeed...

Got on to watch some sleek dance videos. I'm not a fan of girl/boy bands, neither am a k-pop fan, but u just hafta say, the korean girls are awesome in their MVs. So, attached it in my playlist for those who love them ;)

3rd month on at STM, and I hope I can pull through. Maybe I'm being too sensitive or thinking too much. I just wish to do what God has asked me to with my time there, seriously.

Pray for me.

What an uphill slope!

2011-09-10T00:51:00.004+08:00

Steep learning curve for me here. New job, new environment, new colleagues, new workload, new stress. I don't even know if this is for me anymore! So tired n drained out everyday trying to fight the gossipers, and to meet up with the expectations. Totally out of my comfort zone... And now, I feel kinda displaced.

O Lord, I am trying hard to not lose my sight and faith in You while going up this steep uphill slope of learning and adapting. I can be self-pitying alil too much at times, but probably also because i need to reassure myself that people around are understanding enough.

This is so... tiring :(

Scouts Day?

2011-05-25T14:05:00.002+08:00

Is today some kind of Scouts Day or Girl Guides Day where people start selling and giving out brownies? There seems to be lots of brownies roaming around in the office today. But apparently, those whom I thought are rather close to me have conveniently left me out of the picture.

Have been feeling really down recently and listening to those depressing songs do me no good at all. As such, I think I'm getting more sensitive to happenings and comments these days. But as much as I'm feeling hurt, I'm also being reminded of the Easter's service teachings. Acceptance.

I've always thought myself as an outcast in the family since young and it has been so even after getting to schools. It makes me wonder why am I always the one? But God taught me about acceptance. It has always been an issue in my heart since young, something that I needa overcome. I've always yearn for acceptance and any slight sensitive actions or comments that made me feel like an outcast, I would run and hide in sadness. But I, Faith Ong, shall make a promise to God today that I will try my very best to overcome this issue from today on.

Keep me in prayers. Thanks.

179th post on blogger since 2005

2011-04-21T21:13:00.003+08:00

Suddenly, so many people left the service at office.
Many people say I don't have to leave now since all these changes had taken place. But I don't feel that I'm happy. I don't feel that I should still continue to stay on. It makes me ponder even more about why is this so, why do I feel this way?

I love my job initially. I like the comfort and the flexible time I enjoy at my current workplace. But all the feelings are not so right anymore. I'm losing the zeal for work, I'm losing the passion, I don't get the reasons to stay anymore. Is it just plainly because of the people issue now? I'm not quite sure anymore. I know that I shouldn't let feelings get over me, so I did use my brains to deliberate on this issue too. Yes, I don't have the passion anymore but I can just stay on to be within my comfort zone. However, I do not just want to be stuck in my first job all because I'm too scared to venture out. I'm still young, and I should have all the courage and zealousness to carve out a career now. It makes sense to go full charge with my career now than to wait till I got married and have to stay home for the kids yea? Life will lose its balance then. Just look at my brother's family. I seriously think my niece and nephew have practically gotten NO discipline from their parent other than being spoilt by all the toys or presents. All because both parents are busy with their business and career. I definitely don't want my kids to be like that in future. Call me traditional or say my idea is archaic, but I know not all modernized stuffs are great and correct all the time.

Of course, after the heart and mind talk, we need to look at our souls. I can't say I've been praying a lot about what to do next, but I've asked God quite a number of times if I've finished what He's place me there for. Is His job done in me at this current place? If I leave now, is it His will too?

So many doubts clouding my head everyday.
Making me not so sure anymore...

Out

2011-04-07T20:54:00.002+08:00

I guess, I've thought too highly of myself.
I guess, this place doesn't belong to me in the first place.
I guess, I'm not that independent afterall.
I guess, those laughter don't belong to me at all.
I guess, I've to learn to stop searching anymore.

Yes, all of it NOT.

Thanks for those who are sincerely encouraging, and for the rest, I plead for Psalm 69.

How ironic the content of my blog posts had been (since 2004) with blogger name, the BLESSED girl.

I, wanna, cry.

First of 2011

2011-04-05T23:30:00.001+08:00

2010 whizzed past! And I'm already in the FOURTH month of 2011! Seriously, can time fly faster than this?! Reviving this blog may mean, Lishan is back to type out her thoughts and everyday life to make sense of things again. And I hope this is a good thing :)

Well, to mark the "beginning" of the year, I'd done quite a bit of radical stuffs in office, not to mention any here in case i have stalkers (unlikely) or spies lurking around. But come'on, you name it, I've done it. Things changed, people changed, especially when new recruits come in with their "creative" style of managing the team. I agree with sis about as much as people are hard to get along with, I guess I have a part to play as well. I have not been at my optimum at work, and I clearly know it. I have allowed some emotions to take over me, I have also noticed it after I've reacted to it. I'm definitely still trying, but probably not for long in S**.
I've been on a lookout for jobs since December, and had went full force in real search for one since February. I've went for 3 interviews, one of which I kind of blatantly told the person I'm not interested (aka screwed the 2nd interview), the other I've rejected the offer, and the 3rd has yet to got back to me. But at least for now, it is much better than the previous time when I was looking for a job, because I'm still currently drawing a regular salary which on a lookout. The previous time? A hell'a experience that I hope I won't get it ever again.
So, I'm taking things much slower now, doing my best in whichever I was tasked to do. Emotional management is something easier said than done. Taking things slowly in Singapore is an even taller order. Well, just by looking at our walking speed in S'pore, you'll know that we don't particularly embrace procrastination here. Peace and serenity is a rare gem here unless you travel to the end of the far far away corner of S'pore probably such as Lim Chu Kang or Pulau Ubin.

I'm born a planner, and will always be, so planning out my life seems a very natural things to do. This question have probably preoccupied my mind for the longest time since Dec last year. Where is my next step? I seriously don't have an inkling of where God wants me to go, be it in ministry or non. Sometimes I would even ask, is it even time yet to go?

Before my lappie batt dies on me, I pray that I'm really able to cast ALL my worries, cares and anxiety into God.

L.I.F.E

2010-05-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

I know, I'm very late at updating about my life again. HAHA.
Have been working SDC for almost 3 months, and life there... Hmm... hard to explain.
There have been joy of course, but there have been unhappiness too. But nonetheless, I suddenly realize that I've finally GROWN UP :)

L.I.F.E:
Little things that bring us joy, treasure them with all you can.
Small things that hurt you, know that they train you to be stronger.

Laugh when you're happy, cry when you're sad!
All things are made beautiful in His time... (:

the Private Institutions days

2010-02-01T13:57:00.002+08:00

Have been working for SIM for a month, and am stepping into the 2nd.
I'm still at a crossroad, not knowing where to go after what seems like a never-ending time of search for a perm job. It really feels like i'm taking eternity to find sth that I really like...
I had 3 offers before, but I rejected all. Wonder if I had made a right choice.
I'm tired of leading a tired life. I'm tired of having sleepless nights.
God, help me.
Last thurs, I broke down when I got home. Everyone was soundly asleep, all the lights were off. I on the kitchen lights, sat down on the floor and cried hard, real hard. So much disappointments to let go, so much in adequacy to overcome. I seem to be slowly shedding confidence within.
Lord, I pray for faith to grow stronger, and I would want to overcome, by Your grace.

I enjoyed the gatherings nowadays. For the past months, I've went for gatherings that I've often missed in the past. And I like the way we catch up with each other on our lives, I like the times when we can still laugh heartily like we used to while schooling. I miss those times where we only need to study hard for half a day in sch and play hard for the next half. And becos of all these "youthful" times in school, I wished that one day I would be able to return to the status of being a student, pursuing higher education. I wanna believe that it's not far fetch.

Last question of the day: "Should I quit SIM?"
(Because I see no value-adds now...)

Christmas is near!

2009-12-19T12:55:00.002+08:00

Back-dating quite a fair bit (cos i've not been diligently updating this blog), I'm thankful for all who celebrated my 22nd with me!! Big and small ways! :D some misunderstandings, some unhappiness were all dispelled and I thank God for the wonderful people and the blessings around me. :)

Christmas is here again! Every streets are lighted up with pretty x'mas lights and decorated with huge pretty christmas trees! :D
It's such a great joy to see pretty scenes everywhere you go. Especially in the night, you know all the pretty lights keep you company even when you're alone. This year, even my school is lighted up with x'mas lights! (I have been going back for dance rehearsals till night fall...)
With all the lightings and candies and whatnots, how can I not have the holiday mood?! As much as stress in finding a new job soon still lurking around, and also the deadlines for the freelance job pressing on, I still wanna take time and enjoy holidays and a season of giving and blessing :)
Now, what should I get for x'mas prezzies this year...?

Very soon, new year is gonna be here again, and it's time to embrace 2010. How time flies!
I still remember very clearly that last year around this time, I'm still with the classmates at USA celebrating our REAL white Christmas! Snounting around Disneyland (Anaheim) with a reindeer hairband, catching live High School Musical show with hot chocolates on our hands on Christmas day. All those good ol' times...
Now, I can only stay in SG and sing "I'm dreaming of a white Chirstmas..."

Good old times are great to reminisce, but I think it's time we move on. I believe we could make equally as wonderful new memories for this year's Christmas, isn't it? :)
In midst of celebration, let's also be thankful for one very important character of this season!
Jesus Christ! This festive season is possible (and day-off is possible) becos we're celebrating the birth of Jesus! :D
Although 25 dec is not the exact date that Jesus is born, still... Let's celebrate His great day with love peace and joy this year! :D <3 <3 <3

Rainy days~

2009-11-09T15:40:00.004+08:00

It has been raining almost everyday recently.
Just came back from Genting and it was raining every night there as well...
Thanks to the cold room and cigarette smoke, I'm down with Flu again, and dry throat to come along with it. Cigarette smoke was the worst. I felt like I'm intoxicated with 10times nicotine and polluted air than the smoker him/herself. Officially hate anyone who smoke near me.

Friday is drawing near, but i'm not really looking forward to it.
Past 2 years' of celebration were absolutely awesome with the lovely people making my day special and memorable. And perhaps God thinks that I had too good a time for 2 years in a row, this year He decided to erase everyone's memory. Perhaps.
But at least, He still left me B & D, the Porkies, and P to celebrate it with me.
For the others who don't remember, I've got nothing much to say about them... I'm tired of finding excuses for people who fail... A tad disappointed...

Thinking through a lot on what to wish for, I only came up with one thing in mind.
I only wish for a good stable permanent job soon.
God, I feel really very inadequate. Help.

Friends who are thinking of what to get this year,
I've not much material things on wishlist.
So, any gift vouchers from stores like TopShop, Forever 21, etc (any stores that you know i often visit...) would do. No need big amount cos I know money is hard to earn and times are hard. :)

For non tangible wishes,
I wish I can meet up with people i love often,
I wish I could have a good rest with nothing to worry about,
I wish for more love and warmth.

If you really don't know what to get still, can just ask me out for a nice movie or bring me out somewhere nice to hang out or play.

For all who remembered, it's very much appreciated. :)
Thank you :)

sis 1010 wedding 09

2009-10-11T23:53:00.004+08:00

My sis got married on 10.10.09! :)))

Really happy for her... But at the same time, I really miss her presence a lot in the family. Ambivalent. The things that we used to do: like walking to and fro jurong point tgt with mummy b4 2 lil 'monsters' were born, sharing the same bed with mummy to chat through the night, chatting in my room to discuss things abt family or just h2h talk, the days when i wake up to hear her playing with the 2 kids early in the morning on weekends, her usual more-than-half-hr hair preparation/setting, seeing her going out for work or going out with her, sitting her car back from somewhere, etc etc...
Endless things that we did together, for the whole of my life. I will cry when i thought of all these fond memories we had shared as sisters, as a family living tgt. (Thus I've cried countless times even as I type this...) I know I'm silly... But whenever images of her sweet wedding day flashes, my heart tells me that my sis has got (and got to have) a blissful marriage. I smiled.
She looked so happy and pretty in her wedding dress! :)

My dearest sis,
I wish and pray for your marriage life ahead to be forever fill with love, joy, peace, and happiness. You're still the #1 sis, and the prettiest sis I've ever known.. Miss you and love you.. All the best! :)

p.s. I'll get used to it one day... sis, u too... (:

Adulthood

2009-08-18T12:16:00.002+08:00

The NDP dance performance ended, and I would say that it was the best performance that all of us had put up, it was the perforamnce that all of us enjoyed the most out of so many in the past. Till now, I would still like to reminisce the hapenings of that night. From the preparation, to final prac, to on-stage, and when it finally all ended, the triumphant joy rings soundly among all of us. MinPin went super high after that and wanted to do dopeman in our overflowing LONG dress-pants! LOL! Thanks MDC, CHoonHui, Studio Wu, and ALL supporters who made everything possible. I miss all of the crazy moments we share...

This is my 2nd week of work, but it felt like I had worked forever. Time was hard to pass, work is forever piling day by day, boss only ask me how's the progress of my work. Welcome to Adulthood, welcome to the 9-6 working world.
My working place - Nothing to be praised about. But I pray that one day, God will allow me to see what's my value in this place and the reason why God wants to put me in this place. Till then, I'm still moping on the fact that I don't like this kind of working environment. If by any chance that any of my colleagues or my bosses see this post, SO BE IT.

I MISS DANCING!!! This is a massive shoutout from me. I feel suffocated by office hours, feel suffocated by the to-do-list! I look forward to every week's thursdays, becos I can finally go to Studio Wu for dance! :) I miss the dance babes v much too... =(
I went home after the farewell night, feeling drained out and tired. But all is worth for my dance babes and dudes. They hold a v special place in my heart, and will always be. They are the reason why dance can be filled with so much joy, happiness and love as well... =) lotsa love to all of u!

shan is feeling emo today, just thinking about all those times when she's still schooling...
God, I feel like crying... :(

Bummed

2009-07-22T17:27:00.003+08:00

OK.. I'm rather bummed now becos firstly, i don't know if it is IE or Blogger that decided to go on strike and cause the layout on my screen to be screwed and buttons are all over the place. Secondly, I've not seen P for the longest period of time to date, and almost minimal contacts were made due to the ancient 1G phone (can't believe it still exist!) that P is carrying now. Apparently, after going through maybe almost half a decade, the phone's system has went haywired, and can only READ sms. It sucks :(

Baby JunHong has fallen sick again... :( got minor asthma and flu, so keep going to see doc, and everytime he'll cry v loudly.. So poor thing! Hopes that he'll recover soon :)

Tired of being unemployed and so sick of writing resumes.. Well, I just have to persevere on!

made strong

2009-07-14T00:09:00.003+08:00

"I am weak, but in You, I am made strong."

Without Him, I guess I wouldn't have found the strength to get back on my feet.
Each time I chose to cling on to even only a thin string of hope of Yours, You showed me that You're always here, and You've heard my prayers. Each time I chose to defy the emotions and do it the hard way, You made the paths straight. Thank You, Lord.
"So what I say? What can I do? But offer this heart oh God, completely to You."

Thanks to all my friends who have showered the love and concern too. I appreciated your listening ears alot as well.. (:

At the end of the rocky road, i'll always wish to see a rainbow.

Nobody

2009-06-24T13:55:00.004+08:00

Sick of the antics of the mean, sick of being tolerant...
My heart is jaded. And now, i just wanna plunge into dance totally, wanting to keep myself to just dance n music. Period.
So sick, so sick.....

Was at having Yutaki's MTV lesson at StudioWu, and did warm up with Nobody..
And i actually fell much in love with the song and its catchy tune! Listening to it at least cheers me up a lil... The MV is very funny indeed, but in fact, i would say the girls can really dance..!

girl is back

2009-06-20T00:58:00.002+08:00

WOW! It's been almost 2 months ago that i blogged (or even check my page) =p
ok.... Education end, and job search is still going on... This is so demoralizing can... But wells, what can i do? JIAYOU to all who are looking for jobs ba..

And i guess, i need some financial management course or something.. Cos i tink without a stable job/income and much free time in my hands, my money is flowing out at tremendous speed. I'm amazed at how much i can spend in a month! tsk tsk tsk.. shan is a spendthrift! =p
But.... come to think of it.... I've spent most of my money on dance course at studio wu! I've spent almost $500 on them within 2 months! *gasp* That suddenly becomes a sub-conscious primary source of motivation for me to diligently and religiously attend lessons there so as to make my money worthwhile! So now, bulk of my time now is spent dancing in the day, job searching in the night. LOL. 4-5 dance lessons a wk, and some lessons have crunches.. No wonder my appetite has grown MUCH bigger to a "larger than life" state! Which results in...much exercise, zero weight loss, but weight GAIN. Sigh! tsk tsk tsk. shan is not just a spendthrift but a Giant eating machine too!

Eh? Why is this whole post focused on my negative points?!?!
Bah... Anywayz.. This is just a ranting post to all my friends who have missed my appearance be it physically or cyber-ly (blog). =)

Time to say "So long, farewell" to the cow which is jumping over the moon now...
I thank God for creating aircons to make the sweltering hot weather more bearable, and I repent for being a spoilt city dweller who continue to pollute the Earth with more air conditioning, just to make myself feel more comfortable..
Nitez ppl~
Tomorrow WILL be a better day =D

the last time

2009-05-01T20:37:00.003+08:00

This is the last exam i'm ever going to take before i put a full-stop to my degree education..
All these years of studying is just to come to this stage of life - find a good job.
As much as i wanna stay as being a student, truth denies it, and since i have to face it.. I'm gonna face it with all my courage. I was reading Genesis in the Bible one day when sudenly, i was reminded of God's promises for me... Can't tell you how much it warms my heart when i read it..
I dunno how i'll feel before going into the exam hall the last time in my life with the 0612A peeps, I dunno how am i going to do for the last paper, I dunno how will i feel when i wrote my name and ocu id on my exam ans sheet for the last time in mdis. But let's just do our best! :)

Time flies! It's already May.. and half a yr later, itll be exactly one year that i've been to US and Japan.. Still, i can't stop reminiscing the good times there, the things i saw and the people i'm with. One day, i'll bring my parents there.. I hope God can give me the time to do that before He come and meet us again :)

Oh ya! i watched the first R21 show in my life in cinema! Lol.
Watched "Notorious B.I.G the movie".. Rmb the first ever rapper in entertainment music of the world? He was also the first ever artiste that Puff Daddy (now known as P.Diddy) had signed when he started his recording company. Biggie smalls (Notorious BIG) was shot to death at a young age of 24 in 1995. This movie is a tribute to his death and is a story about his life and the people around him.. A super heart-tugging movie. But cation..as it is a R21 show, nudity and sexual scenes are quite prevalent throughout the show. So, dun watch it with a guy fren alone unless that person is ur bf, so as to avoid awkwardness ok!! :P
4 popcorns to the movie! (1 demerit due to over usage of f*** and explicit sex scenes. Lol.)
The classic song is written by P.Diddy after BIG's death in remembrance of him.. Listen to the rap carefully and u'll be vvv touched...

Okie! Back to studying! :)

vday??

2009-02-27T20:45:00.002+08:00

Ok, exam time is also a time where i visit my blog the most becos i'm permanently parked infront of my com and at my desk studying.. hahaz..

So, i went reading my friends' blogs.. All of their Vday discriptions includes flowers.
Conclusion: the Profit peaks of florists all happens on that one very day.
But it's also foolproof! Cos i can see that all my girl frens are truly touched by those pretty flowers.. & as they describe wad they did and how they celebrated that special vday of theirs, i can sense the immense joy and happiness as they were typing.. Happy for u girls! ;)

FYI, i spent my vday with a whole bunch of lovely people in church and in smu! lol.

Giving thanks

2009-02-27T16:10:00.005+08:00

I totally dislike assignments and exams..
I feel my brain being squeezed dry.
But i hope to enjoy the process of it since it's the last few times that i'm doing these things..

God, i submit all these unto Your name, believing that You'll make my paths straight.
As everytime that I would pray before exam, now I really wanna honour You with this.
Carrying the yoke, and having You walking beside me.
Amen.

Thanks P <3. For staying up with me till 5am, just to "be there" while am doing assignment, ensuring that i still maintain my sanity and not be over-stwessed. Thank u! :D

Seriously.

2009-02-18T23:11:00.006+08:00

After MPL exam, i've been reminded countless times that i'm working out more than i need, becos...

I'm doing vigorous-intensity exercises everyday for 3-4 hours each day, which is ABnormal as according to Surgeon General's report's standard of only 30mins of vigorous activities for 2 days or more.
My muscles are obviously not given the time to recover after each exercise.
I fell asleep like a dead log the moment i hit the sack everyday.
I vomitted before going to dance prac today. =.=

Well so, i conclude that my adrenaline-driven-muscles are going mad, and my body is showing some withdrawal symptoms.
But still, i love to dance ;)

I've found this recently by chance. Dance flow, a Taiwan dance crew formed by a group of dance instructors.
The girl's solo is dope! <3

btw, changed the "on track" to Pussycat Dolls' Love the way you love me. Kinda hooked to this after hearing it the first time yesterday :)

women

2009-02-11T00:11:00.003+08:00

Valentines' day is coming, and somehow, i don't really feel the excitement of this 'special' day.
Have been hearing stories of couples breaking up, some of 1-2 yrs, some 4-5 years of relationship. Such a long time of being together, and just a simple "I don't love him/her anymore" or "we have different principles in life" left 2 persons who were once hot-headed with love to be separated. It just left me thinking... how can relationships between man be so vulnerable?
I used to put all the blame on men for being so fickle, leaving their love carelessly on every ladies they hit on and not controlling themselves well enough that cause the couple to break up. (yes, that's how cynical i was! hahaz..) But sometimes, it's also the fault of the ladies.. So, now the fault don't lie on the fact if you're a man or woman. But perhaps, people are just searching for a partner who can fill the God-shaped hole in their hearts...

I thank God for filling up this hole in my heart, but i need to learn to be more trusting for a relationship to go on. Maybe it's due to past hurts and experiences, but i feel a strong need to protect myself, building a fence around me to prevent myself form being hurt. Ever since God has shown me the meaning of true love, i began to lay down this fence bit by bit. I learn to believe, i learn to trust. I am still not good at it, cos the wounds are still there. Sorry to those whom i have hurt before for not being trusting, or has show you my protective nature. I'll continue to let God heal this wound in my heart, that one day, I will tell the world that I have the faith to trust in and love ppl, just like how God has loved me! =)

Apart from sad breaking up news, i have some pleasant ones as well!
1.) Congrats Jessica dear, for finding your prince charming at last! And celebrating your 1st proper Vday with a proper date! ;)
2.) My sister is getting married end of this year!!! (Yay!) And I'll be the bridesmaid. (dun really know to be excited or wad about this point...) Lol. I guess i'll feel weird without my sister living with us.. I'll miss her.. baaaaahhhhh...

Anw,
Happy Birthday my dear sister!!
Happy Birthday star!
Happy Birthday florence!
=D

Back!

2009-01-24T23:42:00.005+08:00

Back from my amazingly wonderfully blessed holidays!
Places conquered: Oklahoma, Los Angeles (Anaheim - Disneyland!!!, Chinatown, Hollywood), Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Tokyo. =)

Sorry for not updating, becos i tink we hardly gave ourselves any amount of adequate time to rest (or even sleep) during the hols so as to finish touring watever places that we have in mind, and also to finish our shopping!! (You won't believe the amount of time we spend in just Forever21 alone, needless to say the amount of moolahs we spent... =p)

Wanted to conclude my US trip before i flew to Japan, and i was typing my blog entry halfway...

"Last day of 2008, last day of stay in US of A.
An eventful study trip plus holiday indeed.
As we're enjoying the protected comfort zone in Oklahoma, most of us forgot wad's the word 'dangerous', and we surely didn't know that it could be so dangerous in the night in busy cities.
Without Donnie's free transport to and fro everywhere, we hafta survive on metro lines, public buses..."

Then, our room's doorbell rang, mr poh and miss pooh came in to tell us to go ahead to the rooftop for a new year countdown with the rest of the classmates. So, i left my post there...ermz... till now. LOL.

To conclude: The whole holidays have indeed widen my horizons, experienced different lifestyles at homes away from home, and i'm glad to have all the "pork chops" with me throughout the trip!! =D I am surely missing all the company, food and places sorely... =(

CNY is around the corner, and seriously, with the number of times i go out to the market n get new yr stuffs, i can DEFINITELY smell the new year atmosphere in the air, and not just that, i guess i immersed myself in that scent. Hahaz..

2009 will be a breakthrough and faith-filled year! Amen!
But, i hate to say this, but i still need to study for 2 exams during this festive season! -awww-
And ES has to be brought froward to 14 Feb instead of 21 Feb!!! -faints- Seriously.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL~! =D

Blessed 21st

2008-11-16T16:00:00.004+08:00

Giving thanks to many, this year's birthday celebrations carried on for a span of one whole week, with everyday eating good food. LOL.

Sunday (9nov) - Steamboat buffet with P
Tuesday (11nov) - Hong Kong cafe with huge choc cake with 0612A + jess + kerren
Wednesday (12nov) - Supper-ing at Newton
Thursday (13nov yay!) - Mom cooked a feast! (it's really a feast. u shld c my expression when i saw the amt of food presented on the tabel tt day. LOL)
Friday (14nov) - Peaberry & Pretzels with shuyi (Souffle was OMG-delicious), then dinner at high class Korean BBQ restaurant (Maru) at Mohd Sultan with Woon, sharon, joleen. Everything there was fantastically delicious!
Saturday (15nov) - Mandy (The Gorgeous One) sweet-to-the-max wedding luncheon at Amara Hotel.
Sunday (16nov) - Gorging on more Rive's cakes and dinner at chinatown.

OK. So, i tink i need some exercise from a week of cholesterol overloading :)

Giving thanks again, my wishlist is being answered by many loved ones!

~~1. A nice and decent wallet.~~
(Thanks Kay, Jer, Jooo, Fang, Pam! :))
~~2. Zara voucher.~~
(Thanks joyce, josephine, favian, mw, greg! :))
~~3. Winter clothing.~~
(Thanks Cheryleeee for the loving gloves all the way frm London! :))
4. Black/dark-grey/checkered pumps.
(hahaz. is ok! shoes are hard to get as present :))
~~5. Black tote bag with gold zip.~~
(Thanks so much P! :))
~~6. Clinique moisture surge face spray.~~
(Thanks NUSA2 & weiling! :))
7. A new 14" lappie bag from fabrixcases.com!
(well, i told u... it's just a wish! =p)
~~8. Nice birthday cards with your heartfelt wishes inside!~~
(I received LOTS! Thanks to everyone! =D)

It's truly a BLESSED birthday, and shan is super touched by all.
Thank You :)

my 21st Birthday!

2008-11-13T22:57:00.006+08:00

It's finally my 21st!!! Cheers! =D
I was thinking how i should make another blast on this special day for myself but instead, i started writing this an hour just before the 'magical moment' ends. hahahz.

It's just like what yueqiu wrote to me:
There are 365 days in a year, and i waited 364 days for my birthday. So i ought to enjoy it! LOL. But I know, even after 13nov, i'll still have some more belated celebrations that's comign along the way! :)

Thanks NUSA2 for the simple but yet surprising birthday song at the end of pnw! And also the celebration on sat! :) simple but i really thank all of u for all the heartfelt affirmations, and prayers! :)))

But well, I had a rather ordinary normal day of birthday today. Woke up at 11am to find my mom cooking a full table of sumptuous lunch to help me celebrate my 21st! Then, bro and family came over ard 12 with a my favourite KentuckyFriedChicken and a huge 1kg birthday cake chosen by my little niece! (well...as u noe, kids only choose those cute but unconventional cakes. So, i had a cute but unconventional one. Lol) Simple cake-cutting and meal together, but i really felt the warmth and love in this family.. Thanks mama papa zeze gorgor dasao huihui & didi!! (though all didi does was smiling and drooling over the cake and ocassionally made some 'yee yee ah ah' sound. LOL) :)))

Thanks to EVERYONE for the early celebration on tuesday! 0612A and dearie jess & kerren!! =D thanks so much for all the surprises and lovely presents! You all have successfuly conned me. hahhaz. The place where we had dinner also brought about lots of memories when i first spent my 19th birthday with the new (now old) classmates! hahahz! Love all of you who made that night and this birthday so special! =D

Thank you Cheryleeeeee!!!!! Hahahaz. You should have seen my estatic expression when i saw a parcel from London cos i know for sure it's uuuuuu!!! And you gave me a warm lovely winter gloves to keep me warm in the states! Love ya cheryleeeee! =D

Last but not least (in fact the most impt), thanks P!!!! =D I've finally watched High School Musical 3!!! :))) And also, thanks for last night/this morning! Though the both of us were actually quite tired already, we still met up for supper just becos i wanna celebrate my birthday on the actual day! :P thanks for appearing at my void deck in the middle of the night with a cake, singing birthday song for me, and also thanks so much for all the gifts! I never expected that you'll give me so many things at one go...it's like overflowing! Lolz! I really really love them all. Somba! =D thank u for making this day a special one! Love ya! :)

This is a season of cake intoxication! I think just for my 21st birthday, i've eaten 5 cakes thus far!!! Gosh! It did help to move the needle on my weighing scale by 0.5kg :)

sweetness-intoxicated cake from 0612A + jess + ker! :)

Totally lovely bouquet frm p! loves :)

As this special day is closing to an end, I thank God for everyone who has blessed me one way or another for my 21st birthday. I truly feel loved and blessed by all. Thanks! :)

i hate history

2008-11-07T22:29:00.004+08:00

STRESS.
It's been a loooooong time since i felt sooooo stress for exams. I really dunno why and dun understand how come i'm reacting in this way for this mod... I'm so stress that i've lost 1kg (*gasp*) from studying, and the stress is pumping so much of adrenaline in my body that whenever i see my American Politics and Economics textbook, my heart pumps twice the normal rate. And our dear Dr Guo diagnosed that i've fallen in love with my textbook! =.= But i think this mod just reaffirmed me that i really HATE history. LOL

So, today went out for dinner to catch a breather. Went to our favouritest of favourites - Cathay Astons (again.) Their food never fails to amaze me each time i go there. Cheap and Bagus! 5 stars! =)
After dinner, Hershey's and Kinder Bueno came along to help me destress! Thanks p! <3

I'm gonna munch on those chocos now & drag my tired body and mind to run through everything again before i turn in.. Wish me Luck for tmr! =D

November is here again! :)

2008-11-02T23:23:00.006+08:00

The month of November is here again, and the spirit of celebration is arriving!
It's a time of birthday-month-discounts! LOL.
Well.. as usual, i'm not someone who likes birthday party with me standing in the limelight, making a wish and blow the candles in the most demure way. Not me.
So, although this year is rather special in a way that it's my 21st birthday, i'm not holding a celebration party. Too mind and energy taxing to plan and send invites, source out for places, and find the appropriate food caterer. But still, I would like a cosy meal with my dearies, talking and laughing about the happy moments that happened in that one year lapse. So ppl, do invite me for a meal if you're free ok! =) Oh! but of course I would like some nice presents too! LOL. (i sound so materialistic here... but i dun care. It's a month of receiving for me! *excuse* =p)
In order not to kill more of your brain cells by thinking of what to get for me, here is my wishlist! =D

Wishlist!

1. A nice and decent wallet.
(you should have seen the state of my current wallet. pathetic. but i'm still considering if i should go US or Tokyo to get myself an Agnes b wallet. but i don't mind if you choose to get one nice one for me! :))

2. Zara voucher.
(any amt will be appreciated. cos i plan to get my trench coat from zara)

3. Winter clothings.
(any winter stuffs like scarf, gloves, etc. material shld be able to keep me warm at 7-10degree celsius! =p)

4. Black/dark-grey/checkered pumps. Shoe size approximately 7.
(hope i can still exchange if the size doesn't fit!)

5. Black tote bag with gold zip, able to fit 14" lappie, bag must be light.
(i simply love black totes with gold decos :))

6. Good facial mosturiser! I would love: Jurlique rosewater balancing mist or Clinique moisture surge face spray.
(or any other gd ones for cold weather tt you wanna recommend? :))

7. A new 14" lappie bag from fabrixcases.com!
(hahaz.. this is really just a wish. i guess it's abit hard to get it for me =p)

8. It's ok if you're on budget! I would love to receive lots of nice birthday cards with your heartfelt wishes inside too! =D

Alritez, the list goes on with Chanel bag, digi cam, all Dior products, and an Einstein brain. LOL. Just kidding. I believe i'll earn and save enough money next time to get myself one of those high end stuffs one fine day :))) For now, i guess that's just it! I hope i won't think of more wants. hahaz. =p

Back to mugging for exams~! :)

chiong for 8nov!

2008-10-27T00:29:00.005+08:00

It's especially heartwarming to hear from someone dear to you after some time... to know about her life. And I thank God for you, Ashleigh, for constantly sharing your with me and some others. Seeing that your life in Sweden now is pretty beautiful both spiritually and physically, it brings a smile to my face, and sends a touch of warmth to my heart. Thank God for your life, dear sis :)

Just ended non-stop hits of typing, and i concluded the whole assignment with 1319 words... So, am exceeding the limit by 319 words yea? Shall edit the essay another day cos am retiring for the day!

Ended up that am gonna spend my birthday weekends alone in Singapore while my family (except bro and family stayed back to take care of baby nephew but they're all gg back to their own house) are all going to Genting. Initially they wanted to celebrate my birthday up the highlands, but turned out that they thought i wasn't able to go, so they booked the tix without me included... =( rather saddened initially but well, i guess it'll still be fun staying in Singapore, having the whole house to myself, and maybe cooking for myself (if am enthusiatic enough)! Been a loooong time since i cooked my own meal, and i guess it'll be great to do things like this, and spend some solitude time at home =)

shan is having tutions like nobody's business for the past 2 weeks and will continue for this coming week due to pri school end yr exams and o levels. After this, no more income, and that spells trouble. Hahaz. Anywayz, i tink moolahs can roll in after i come back from US! =D

to all mugging for assignment and exams, JIAYOU! :)
to all having exams now, ALL THE BEST! :)
to all who are sick, GET WELL SOON! :)
tata world~

an addition?

2008-10-23T15:22:00.002+08:00

My family just hired a new maid to help out with the housework, becos my house is officially declared a "danger zone" after the two "terrorists" (niece & nephew) were born. Try staying in my house for a day to be a nanny of the two and you'll know what i mean... (:
So, housework seems impossible to complete when you have to keep watch on the two 小老板, therefore, new maid is hired to help out! =)
It's not weird to have a maid around the house helping out becos my late ah gong and ah ma has one before they passed away... Besides, I think all my paternal side uncles and cousins have a maid attached to one family..... (Dun ask me why they so rich becos i really dunno). So the idea of having a maid isn't unfamiliar, just that it feels abit weird to have another extra stranger staying together with us now.. Alot of things to take note of, and I do feel a wee bit of being intruded. Lol.
I guess i'm alil overeacting...

Oh wells, assignment is going at a rather slow speed for me but i tell myself that i should finish it by tmr! I'll try even though it's alil hard... (: 必胜!!!

Da sao bought KFC! (what a sumptous, yet unhealthy, tea break..!)
Me go gorge on food now. tata~!

bye wa ma

2008-10-13T17:08:00.003+08:00

Recession: economic grey skies glooming ahead.
Such news are just so depressing.
Well, I don't mean to create a sad post, but negative incidents just kept on coming.

Sorry for not updating my blog, cos... ... (I don't know why too).

Grandma (maternal side) just passed away last week, and i'm officially grandparent-less.
I guess future Grandparents' Days are none of my business.
I am sad, definitely. Especially she's the closest grandparent that i ever had.
Scenes of going overseas with her and family, the times when she ate and laugh with us, the times she sat beside me and watch tv with me... They are so deeply etched in my memory and my heart. Everytime i thought of her, and her voice, I cry. Till now i still do.

Sorry dance babes, for not going to the BBQ night. Becos i just couldn't bring myself to enjoy and laugh, when deep inside I'm still mourning over the loss i had. But i'm glad it turned out well :)

I guess i'm getting better. That's what human beans are capable of. Time pass, new things come along, and we leave our past behind. Selective memories are going to be at it's best, where unhappy happenings are not going to stay as long as the happy things are.
I will get better, I know. But, it is not easy to keep thinking that you'll get better and in fact you're still hurt. Cognitive dissonance doing its part in me at the moment.

Life for me has to go on.
shan wants to dance with the music right now to express her emotions deep within~

Anyway, found a new singer:

Kate Voegele.

Love her voice! She's pretty too! =)

Unless you dunno, the song playing now on my blog is sung by her.

excerpt

2008-09-16T14:08:00.000+08:00

Deleted the angry post, and once again recollecting myself.
Sorry for being sucha b**** and making a fuss out of it. Truly sorry.
An excerpt from shuyi's blog:
"One day, we'll realize that the "sacrifices" we make for God, that we make in order to obey God, are really no sacrifices at all."
Taking time to realize, and experience the "one day"
Till then, i want to persevere and run the race God marked out for me.

Back to studying!! :)))))

States-a-trippin!

2008-09-16T00:31:00.005+08:00

Much is done and soon we'll be flying on ANA!!! =D

Singing:

We are going to the STATES states states,

How about you you you,

You can come too too too,

We are going to the STATES states states~!

Rambling

2008-09-08T14:04:00.002+08:00

Such a rare chance for me to slp for FULL 12 hours!!
Hahaz.. yesterday decided to cancel 1 out of 2 tuitions to let myself rest more on a weekend (cos i've been slogging for the whole of last week)... So, i came home at about 1pm after morning tuition, ate lunch at home, and went out to do some homework. But, after eating chippy's and takoyaki with piggy, the total fruitful mugging time is only less than half an hour! Alrights... So, sis called and came to pick me up, and since it's on the way, we sent piggy home.. (:

Went to fetch mummy from grandma's house, and she's obviously not in good mood.
My grandma is seriously ill and she's now reduced to only bones, skin, and veins. I could even see her pulse just by staring at her elbow area. Depressing.
So, to dispel some sadness and solemn-ness, we drove mummy to holland village to enjoy some nice nasi lemak and katong laksa! Super bagus! =D

Then, i was back at home, played with niece for little awhile, wanted to call piggy but the pig is enjoying supper at that moment. -_- So in the end, i decided not to call and fell asleep at around 10plus! LOL. Woke up a few times in the middle of the night (i guess i'm not used to slping so early, yea?) and officially woke up at 11plus today! What a GOOD sleep i had! =p
Totally enjoyed such a sunday! =D

Well... Not much things to settle today too except for 2 tuitions in the evening. So i shall continue to slack abit more, and devoting another perhaps an hour of fruitful mugging time! (Since i don't tink i need an afternoon nap today... Lol.)

Btw, dance audition for music forest was postponed to this coming sat instead. Jess might not be able to go, so i dunno if am still going for a try or not.. Hmm... Shall see...
shan is just on a rambling mood today :)

tired

2008-09-05T22:42:00.006+08:00

Wow.... it's been almost half a month since i last blogged.. And even the last post was done in a haste i guess.. Haha.. Business for theluxehouse is starting to pick up and it just means that me and jess are getting busier each day. Really thanks jess for all the hard work she put in.. I tink thru this, i found out that i'm not really a very detailed and meticulous person when it comes to logistics. But my great partner jessica is!! Hahaz.. Thanks so much jess! :D

There were so many things that happened that all of the sudden, it left me staring blankly at the lappie screen not knowing what to share with all of you..

Hmm.. I'm not feeling very well emotionally. Sometimes, I really feel that I have a broken soul. I start to lose faith in everyone around me... Even those who are closest to me. There are also times that I find it hard to really totally submit all these worries and negative emotions to God... But i'm glad that God still speak to me. Not directly, but through different people around me. I thank God for showing me His greatness and the truth. But if I am to say now that I'm totally fine and nothing is bothering me, I'm lying. In people's eyes, I may seem holy or godly or faithful (or some frens may say... religious). But to say the truth, there are so many times that I feel like giving all up and leaving everything alone. Time and time again, God brought me back. Just like the prodigal son in the Bible, I'm coming back to Him once again and He accepted me all over again with no conditions attached. God is wonderful.
When I can come to this point to be this truthful here while I am typing this, I don't really care about what others might think of me already.. Becos, God knows my heart and He knows me inside out, that man's judgement matter no more. I'm learning and I'm still trying to lean not on my own understanding but on God's will.
shan is strong, and I surely will be :)

I'm going for music forest dance audition tmr with jessica! Haha!
Alil stressful about the freestyle part, but i guess, I'll just have to make a groove to watever music am thrown at! Wish us luck! We'll have fun! =p

The Luxe House!

2008-08-18T23:36:00.005+08:00

It's finally launched!
After figuring out livejournal painstakingly, (first time using it!!!) it's finally nicely done up!
People... Do help by visiting, or buying, telling ur frens, ur fen's frens, fren's fren's frens kkk!!! LOL! webby is: http://theluxehouse.livejournal.com/ :)))))

I'm super tired, and TV scripting class starts tmr.. No time to rest =(
shan, aja aja fighting! :D

2008-07-25T00:00:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone who tagged! Hahaz.. Err.. I'm abit lazy to reply one by one.. Pardon me! =P

Research Methodology module is finally over! Here comes assignment and exam again... Booo... But well, though schooling is busy, i love going to school everyday to see my precious classmates like kay kay, jooo, CcF, and many many more. They are the people who can really brighten up my life... =D

(Our cutey name plates for our lessons! we can be rather..."talented" in drawing too)

(I was squatting and she was tip toe-ing.. we dunno why.. LOL)

(our wonderful numbers! it was purely coincidence okie...)

(I forgot wad's that hand symbol for.. But yea.. Nir1 fits in perfectly!

from left to right: CcF, kalyn, jooo, me, & nirwan at the back! =p)

(The class with Dr Jowaisas! :))

After a series of lessons, there'll be a time to destress and relax!! Hahaz! I tink i may sound abit sua-ku.. But, I'VE FINALLY SAT IN SG'S CABLE CAR to sentosa!!! Night view wasn't as fantastic as genting's one, and the pics i took with my Nokia 6500 was...err...well...you know... =D

I'm still very extremely happy nonetheless, becos the company was simply great ;)

YOU :)

2008-07-10T00:23:00.001+08:00

I'm very very horribly terribly shagged after (only) 3 days of lessons, thanks to Practical Research - Planning and Design! The work seems to be never ending, the everyday-without-fail quizzes every morning are crazy, and it doesn't help by having an anal professor on punctuality which drive us to run after train/bus/watever transport, just so that you can be on time for the morning quiz. Madness.
Maybe i should do a research topic on how being punctual can add on to daily stress... Hmm...

OK... Though i'm tired and all, i still wanna give thanks.
The calls, the wait, the company, the truthful advices just blew me off...
Thank You :)

take time to Realize

2008-07-07T22:29:00.002+08:00

I've learnt to take certain things in my stride.
Just do my best in handling one thing at a time, and don't put too much stress on myself.
Thanks someone for helping me to learn that! :)

Sometimes, i just feel like giving up, escaping from everything happening in my life, and go live in a faraway land where nobody knows me. But i couldn't. It's just like me having the thoughts of giving up dancing once again after being so terribly ill. But the passion just keep me moving on again and again. I just couldn't do it.

The things between the both of us have changed. You can't deny that. Sometimes I really don't know to keep it going and to close one eye. I tell myself again and again that we are different, and i can't expect you to meet my expectations or handle things the way i do. Each time i'm hurt by your tactlessness, or your insensitivity, i tell myself that it's really alright, i'll get over it soon. But as things start to build up, i don't know how much longer i can hold on. You might have already been sick of me being emo every now and then on things you don't understand. You might have been sick of trying to make me happy or do the things the way i want it to be. You might be sick of just hanging around with me.
I'll hang on, cos i still treasure with all my heart.
I'll move on, when i'm able to give up a part of me to put u down.

Somehow, i'm not so looking forward to my US trip, partly becos it's time when people who are not by my side will forget me by and by...

7 months and 12 days, I'm still counting the days.
Take time to Realize...

mugger pig is back~

2008-06-15T14:14:00.001+08:00

I've yet to post my baby nephew photos right?! LOL.

This is an adorable newest addition to our ONG family!

His English name is yet to be thought of but his Chinese name is Ong Jun Hong :))))

Alrighttt, I was admitted to hospital for a day and went in and out of clinic and hospital 4 times due to 5hrs-kept-unheated-subway. Now it created a phobia in me for eating subway sandwiches... Was diagonosed with gastritis - in another words, gastric cramps - for eating tt subway. Vomited at least 10 times before i fell unconscious at home with a loud knock on the back of my head against the floor on wed. Daddy had to call ambulance and send me to hospital and i didnt know all these ws happening until i was at the A&E of NUH. I was still thinking which hospital was i admitted to at that point of time. =p Admitted to ward with high fever, continuous vomiting and super low BP, so 4 packets of drips was put onto me. I believe i look bloated now due to water retention. LOL. =p Discharged on thurs afternoon but vomited again at home after i came back, so i was sent back to hospital again on fri morning and put on another packet of drips and additional medicine. Disgusting ok... But THANK GOD, i do not need to be readmitted again :))

Well, I'm feeling much better now le. Thanks everyone for all your concerns!

FIY, I've yet to pia for my Arts and our World exam paper this coming sat! With the physical condition now, i just have to do my best. Keep me in prayers ba!

Back to studying lo!

~mugger pigggg~

send revival

2008-06-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

Not sure what to blog about...
But just wanna tell the world that am still alive and kicking well.
( in case u people start to forget about me... =.= )

Shan is learning to put down certain negative things, and picking up the more positive thoughts. GOD-centred is the key. =) Tired week ahead again, and i'm looking forward to a getaway trip to somewhere if possible... =P

I'm recently in love with Jason Mraz new album - "We sing, we dance, we steal things"! The song u're hearing now on my blog is from that album :)

OK... shall blog more when i have the mood and inspirations again! ciao!

负荷

2008-05-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

再好的友谊, 总有一天也会变质...
所以, 我身旁的朋友们, 我不奢求你们的逗留,
但我只希望你们能给我多一点的温暖与谅解.
我不需要承诺, 我只盼望一棵真诚的心与诚恳地对待.
如果我做得不够好, 我向你道歉.
被遗忘的感觉, 好辛酸.
不管怎样,我还是要说一声, 谢谢.

对自己好失望.
不就是只有这份能耐吗?
我会不会走到无法负荷的程度?
就这样结束的念头再次浮现.
眼泪始终会停止, 伤痕也会慢慢的痊愈.
也许时间是一种解药, 也是我现在正赴下的毒药...

或许, 一个人的生活会好过一些...

Well done!

2008-05-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

School's gonna start tomorrow and I'm gonna have monday blues again... On my previous post i mentioned i wanna do the follow things during my hols after philo module and I'm glad I'm able to complete some of them! HAPPY~! =D
Let's evaluate them now:

1. ~~Travel out of Singapore for a holiday!~~
~ managed to go to JB and bought some stuffs back! I enjoyed that day tremendously! But forgot to take lotsa pics =( but is ok! there'll be next time! =p

2. Establish my "rainbow world" by making a point to be happy about something each new day! :))) *Blues blues go away, come again another day~*
~ Err... I guess I'm happier each day now than that period of time... lol.. But this should be an on-going thing to achieve for me =D

3. ~~Bless the people that i love by spending more time with them.~~
~ FINALLY got to go out with my dear kalynchuahuiting! :)))) It's really nice to sit down and have girls' talk and shop tgt again! =D but too bad that i'm still unable to meet up with the other 3 pals (xian, grace, eunice)..

4. Go Dempsey and chill at Harry's!
~ this is yet to be done but i realise that I'm able to get a 10% discount for all F&B at Harry's! Hahaz.. Luckily i found out abt this b4 i went... =p

5. ~~Stroll quietly by the beach and wait for preeetae sunset enfolding before my eyes.~~
~ I didn't see the sunset happening right in front of me, but i went to the beach!! TWICE somemore! Once with family and the other with piggy. Hahaz! I'm a totally happy ah pig after all the cycling, sandcastles, sea breeze and $1 ice cream! =D

Last week of Hols..

2008-05-08T08:55:00.000+08:00

This is the last week of holidays before school proper starts again, and all the frantic scedules and work begins again. Yes terday i had LONG hours of discussions with the programming team for the upcoming Uni Camp. (woots~!) Besides the creative-juice-squeezing session of planning for the progs, we also had a long time of sharing. Sharing about the problems we're facing, the experiences that we had in our walk with God. Indeed, through our lives, it is said and proven that being a Christian doesn't mean that we're gonna live a life that is a bed of roses. Yes, we may felt helpless and despaired at times when help doesn't seem to come on our way tangibly, but all of us have one thing in common. That is: God is forever on our side.
It was a fantabulous time of sharing and working together with the girls for the camp. (:

On Mon, i went down to NUS to pray for CG sis and bro for their exams, and on my way back, i met Kian Kee!! Such a long-time-no-see friend lah! Hahaz.. He changed quite abit... in his way of thinking and speaking, but he's still that emo-fumbo kian kee that i once knew since sec 3. Lolz. =p glad to have met him and talked cos it just brings back lotsa memories we had in sec sch - like how we wished we're an adult when we're a sec sch kid, and how we wish we'll never grow up and stayed like a kid now. I still rmb how i helped him woo *ahem* wor! =p Those were the carefree days....

Well well.. Before i get emo again... Some dance clips to share! (These are one of the things that make me happy!) Both are by choreographer Saleemah E. Knight. Think they're not bad ;)

Renewed

2008-05-02T15:27:00.000+08:00

Lots had happened for the past week, and shan is rather happy now. But dunno why... she still fell sick.. Sigh. Must be the unbearable hot weather :(

I had a nice weekend with my family at East Coast Park last sunday! It's been ages since I've been there. (I'm suppose to be there during Zul's birthday party but i missed it cos am sick.. Sigh. Sorry bro!) Went cycling around the park alone while my family enjoy the sea breeze at one spot on the sand. Haven been feeling that relax for eons, and i simply love the sea, the wind, the cycling, the smiles, and also the $1 ice cream! Yum yum! =D Anywayz, saw a sand castle "stall" or "exhibition" kinda thing there and there's one made by the pros which looks really really nice! Shan has never done a sandcastle before in her whole life! Even when i tried, it never did succeed or even look like a "something"...

(Pretty sandcastle!)

Oh! People! I'm so proud to announce that I've made improvements on my dieting and saving plans!

Firstly, I realised i haven been eating supper (which means no more eating after 10pm) for ONE FULL WEEK!! Yay! It's a breakthrough for me ok... Cos i'm someone who really loves to eat ALOT, especially during midnight. =p And yes... am dieting. Or rather, am trying to lead a healthier lifestyle! =D But but but... the needle (mine is ot a digital one) on the weighing scale has not moved at all. Or maybe, my progress is so little that it can't be detected... =( But i'll continue to lead this no-supper-lifestyle!

"只要有恒心, 铁棒也能磨成针!"

Secondly, I went window shopping at Vivo~ on monday to check out the new stuffs in stores. Saw a bag at Topshop that I really really really love alot! But it's too expensive for my savings plans.. It cost $103! =( Am really really sad ok... But i'm trying to save up money now for my end-of-year US cum Tokyo trip. So, shan has to stop her material desires for this half a yr in order to save well... But i'm still happy that I managed to control my shopping desires and only bought a pair of earrings ($11 only!) at Forever21 for one whole day of window shopping! (Imagine how much i hafta curb myself from buying..) Good start for my savings plan! =D

Saw this nice top at Topshop that i feel like getting, but it's too expensive as well... So i decided to drop it though i really liked the gold little starfish buttons on the top. But I managed to get a snapshot of it in the fitting room to take it as remembrance even if i can't buy it! =p

(the gold buttons are not clear here though...)

I thank God for the nice moments in my life when i needed it most.

I love You, Lord =)

Oh! Btw, I had my $1 ice cream today again! Happy! Good things can keep coming.. =D

smiles :)

2008-04-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

I admit i wasn't feeling too well both emotionally and physically for the past month. It is up till a point that i went beyond my limit that i nearly fainted at home twice in 2 days (but it was only a black-out, i din fall..), and i also broke down n cried like a baby alone in cathay's toilet, just last sunday (after Eugene's bday celebration). But i am recovering now, standing on my own two feet, with the strength of God restoring in me bit by bit.

I had my rests, and bought what i wanted to buy, saw what i wanted to see, hung out with the people that i wanna hang out with. Shan did the things that she longed for and had the precious time all to herself in this precious week. FIY, i haven't been spending a holiday like this for almost...half a yr? Holidays were never like one cos I am as busy as school was going on. It wasn't a time of socializing at all, cos i never had the time to meet up my friends (unless i squeeze some out of the busy schedules). I was once sick of my own life - doing and doing, serving and serving. But it was really God's love for me that had me going on for so long, and also that made me continue serving Him.

Really thank you so much to those who knew and cared, and also those who put smiles on my face. You know who u are.
Thanks. (:

2008-04-22T03:14:00.000+08:00

I may not be in yours, his, or hers...

But I know I am in God's picture.

not a part of

2008-04-18T14:12:00.000+08:00

Not yesterday, not now, not tomorrow..

So... I was never in the picture, was I?

Janet's Feedback

2008-04-15T12:22:00.000+08:00

Digressing from assignment-chionging...

Some scenes during dance prac in sch! Credits to linda for piecing up all the videos, adding in Janet's MV too! :D

song: Janet Jackson - Feedback

(the front part is alil not in sync with the music =P)

Rainbow world~

2008-04-10T14:29:00.000+08:00

While slogging for my philosophy assignment, here i am, with my thoughts wandering about, again. =p

Things i feel like doing after the fateful 19th April!:
1. Travel out of Singapore for a holiday!
(Feel like gg KL or BKK.. if not possible, am willing to embrace JB as well =D)
2. Establish my "rainbow world" by making a point to be happy about something each new day! :))) *Blues blues go away, come again another day~*
3. Bless the people that i love by spending more time with them.
(this is with the assumption that they feel blessed being around me! lol! =p)
4. Go Dempsey and chill at Harry's!
5. Stroll quietly by the beach and wait for preeetae sunset enfolding before my eyes.

And yes, I do not wish to do all those alone, for shan is a girl who loves being around the lovely beings of the world :)))

Filmography

2008-04-03T14:40:00.000+08:00

Rather emotional week that has passed, but I choose to leave everything behind. What's past is past, and now i'm still learning to look to God in every area of my life.

Some inspirational movies that I'd watched recently. Recent ones are in the cinema of course ans some are shown during my philosophy tutorials. (By chronological order of the films):

"The Bucket List" (2008). Firstly, what should attract you at first glance is the names of the lead actors - Jack Nicholson & Morgan Freeman! This is about two old men, left with a few months of life, got to know each other in hospital and wrote down things they wanna complete before their demise. A touching movie that teaches you how to treasure and also forgive. Plus! I believe these 2 actors had their fair share of earning big money from participating in the cast, and also the chance to visit almost all the 7 wonders of the world! So to speak, the graphics in the movie are fantabulous.

"August Rush" (2007). This is about a musical prodigy who believes that he'll be reunited with his parents one day though he's brought up to think that he's an orpahn. He uses his talents to search for his parents and eventually found them. A rather hollywood movie, but if you're a music kinda person, this would interest you cos the kid is really a genius. His parents are also pretty faces. Nice and heart-warming show.

"Salaam Bombay!" (1988). This is a Hindi film, and of course I managed to watch it with the English subtitles. (duh!) An award winning film that receives standing ovation at the end of it's screening. Best foreign language film that year, and after watching it, I can tell you that it deserves the standing ovation. The story is about the life of the street children in bombay at that time, and the casts are real street children. Prostitution, drugs, poverty, discrimation were all portrayed in the right pitching of emotions in the film. Watch out for the personality change and the internal struggles each child has. (if u've got a chance to get the disc) It just pains you...

"The Great Gatsby" (1974). Another award winner in Oscars that year. No, it's not about the gatsby hair gel though the name is the same. Starred by Robert Redford and Mia Farrow who are already quite advanced in age now. This show is more about depicting the kind of superficial values that people look at, such as the outer appearance (beauty), and materialism. It also shows how people of political power controls the lower class citizens. Basically, it's exposing the ugly side of society and the decadence of moral values. It's interesting how a film of 1974 "prophesy" about the modern society that we're in now where people don't give a hoot about values, adopting a Tyra Banks' "So What?!" attitude. Ending note: sigh...

That's all about the inspirational films! Do catch them if you have the time and have the access to it k! They made lishan feels like she's grown more mature in her thinking. =p

Nitez world~

trusting and relying...

2008-03-26T16:07:00.000+08:00

After all that has happened, I have learned to treasure you.
Times when i didn't notice i was in a state of lost, you made me realise.
Times when i could hold my emotions no longer, you took it all from me.
Times when i needed a little support, you cheered like you had pom pom in your hands.
Times when i forgot to give thanks, you made me thank again.
So,
I just wanna say thank you for being right here with me.
Yes,
I am growing to trust and rely more on you...

hanging on

2008-03-17T15:45:00.000+08:00

I thought i would have gotten over it rather quickly...
But whenever things happen, i still feel the hurt so deeply within...
Am still healing, am still recovering. Both physically (still having flu) and emotionally.
I am not God, so i don't know how you feel or what you think. So, do not expect me to know-it-all. But i can guess as much from the small little details like your body language. It speaks much.
I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but you did. I don't really know how to treat you, but i shall do my best. Tolerance has a limit, and at the end of it, i am not sure what holds me on.
I'm not tired yet, I'm not giving up yet, cos God will make a way if it's His will.
But I AM hurt... I am someone who needs TLC (tender, loving, care) alot. If it seems difficult for you, then ppl, you're free to leave my circle. But, drop me a hint or so before leaving to better prepare me, and i'd be grateful to you.

shan misses her 4 pals, and feels like pouring out to them...

MDIS Open House 2008

2008-03-10T12:37:00.000+08:00

Sat's performance was finally over!
As compared to the mainstream universities, our school's open house seems to be much more quieter and sparsely populated. Nevertheless, our dance club put up a really GOOD show! I must say that during the performance we might not be at our best, but the overall effect was a blast. Well done girls! Thanks for all the hard work and love all of ya! =D

sick @ home

2008-03-07T14:05:00.000+08:00

Fell ill with a terrible throat infection that had me blowing hot and cold. My temperature had been fluctuating since yesterday from 36.9 to 37.8 degree celsius. So, stayed at home and recuperate to prevent myself from fainting even before the dance performance this sat.. (:
Btw.. MDIS Open House this sat (8 mar). We're performing at ard 130 pm! Do come and support us if free k! =D

While resting at home for the day, my entertainment includes doing up a blog for my 4 pals! It'll be a place for us to share lives during the times that we find it hard to meet each other since we're all busy people. Lol. Visit us @ frenz4life!

And also, i went youtubing. Wad else but searching for more dance inspirations again? This time, more dance works from popular choreograhers :)

Gigi Torres! I missed her appearance the previous time when Dance 2xs came over Singapore :(

Nate Adams. The first time I saw this video, i thought the girl called Mimi looks a little like Lovynn... hahaz.

Bobby Newberry's dance steps are so hamzah-ish! Or hamzah's dance steps are so Bobby Newberry-ish! Whichever way la...

I still have a long looong way before i can be of their standard.. hahaz.
Go check out Luam's dance too! She's one of my all-time favourite. (:

1st wk of holidays!

2008-02-29T16:28:00.000+08:00

Jer! i'm updating again! hahaz.. actually cos am bored.. =p

First week of my holidays is coming to an end, and time passes so quickly that I don't really remember what was i busy with or how did i spend my time...

In my calendar, it says tuition, tuition, and more tuitions; dance prac, dance prac, and more dance pracs. Moolahs are rolling in i know... But sometimes i just find my self too lazy to go tutoring. =p

Anywayz, some memorable days this week:

1.) I went to Escape theme park last sunday!!! whee~! It has been eons ago since i last visited the place. Nothing much has changed (i suppose). But that day was a series of on-off drizzling, and piggy and I were still contemplating if we should still go in. Well, since we're already there, and i don't think i would want to take the long train ride down again, so we went ahead. Oh! Plus the tix are FREE! :D (yes, i'm that cheapskate =p) I didn't regret making that choice, seriously. Despite a lil of drizzle every now and then, we still managed to catch some rides, and piggy had his go-kart! Yay-ness! :D

We stayed from daylight to night:

Sorry, but i still prefer Genting's outdoor theme park... =p

2.) Caught a movie today - Charlie Wilson's War. Starred by Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, a true story. The movie was really not bad, with some nudity that excites piggy (oh wellz... *roll eyes*). You know what happened that made me remember this day. *winks*

(3.5 popcorns)

Alright, long day for me tmr again so i shall bid goodnitez to all lovely beings now. Oh ya! Happy leap day! :D *oink*

gasp!

2008-02-28T18:08:00.000+08:00

Great.... i just checked my mail, and i got this shock from my dearest MDIS. My new module is gonna start on 19 mar (this is not the shocking part...) and the mod is call "Value and Culture". (here it comes...) "The course is a general introduction to the Humanities disciplines in Western Culture, with particular emphasis on the area of ethics, epistemology, and aesthetics as they are developed and expressed in literature, philosophy, and theology."
This is the start of the whole course description. I NEARLY went blank.
Next, the course syllabus continue to shock me even further with 2 lines, in bold and caps, saying "IN-CLASS ESSAY EXAM". Ok... I guess i'll have even more sleepless nights... Then there's another "position paper" (can't rmb if it's called this) that i have to write 12 pages worth of essay?!?! PLUS! There are 6 reading texts?!?!
People... Seriously, KILL ME... Up to this point, I TOTALLY went blank...

Anywayz, recovering frm my shock... Today have been a rather...special day.
Woke up late in the morning, went online and played facebook for awhile. It's been quite sometime since i indulge myself in such brainless activity. =p
Then, was waiting for mr piggy to message me but he didn't. So, it pissed me off a little. (Guess he thot i was busy and didn't wanna disturb... His assumptions AGAIN...) sigh.. Well, went for tutoring with only milk in my stomach (and some mentos if that's even considered food). On my way to my kid's house, this china man asked me for directions and "accompanied" me walk the long stretch of road, and at the same time sharing to me about the difference in our and their salaries. This is the 1st special encounter today.
After tuition, i took a cab down to school (cos i'm late for dance). This taxi driver is a 69 year old malay uncle who is rather (or very) chatty. He started by asking me wat's my course and wat's my school fees like, then he continue to share with me about his love life! Talked about him being a seaman for 10 years and how his father objected his marriage to a chinese lady that he loves alot.. Then when he came back 10 years later, he found out that the lady is married to another guy and they cried over one another. The lady's husband wanna hit him or something, and many many more details which i can't rmb and sometimes can't really make out what he's saying (he mumbles). And before i got off, he told me not to get into relationship so early but get my cert first. I was still hoping that he'll give me a discount for chatting with him and listening to his stories. But he didn't. This is 2nd special encounter.
Then, my same routine for wednesdays happens again. Dance, then head off for CG, but this time at harbourfront.. A lil different from the usual. (:

This has been the longest post for the past few months i guess.
Thanks for tuning in! Cya next time, same place again, but OTOT! =D

Built to Last

2008-02-23T15:03:00.000+08:00

Was watching MTV Lurve while slogging for my assignment 2 days ago when i came across this song, sweet and lighthearted... :)

Lyrics here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/melee/builttolast.html

everything's alright

2008-02-21T14:56:00.000+08:00

All has been good...
Busy week again, and I am getting tired and restless..
I can sense that my body is failing me, asking me to take a break.
Maybe i should, but after my exam..

to you: Thanks for being there, putting a smile on my face :)
to ting: Hey girl, cry no longer. I miss your smiles :)
to jess: Do not worry too much girl. I am here to lend u a shoulder :)

Be Blessed.

Getting Better

2008-02-10T16:01:00.000+08:00

Thanks everyone who showed concern abt my previous post.

Seriously, i dunno what would i become without God in my life.

After all the crying and such, i've grown a little more stronger, all because of Christ.

I may not be totally healed by the hurts yet, but God is molding me day by day, and i am also learning bit by bit.

Once again, Thank You.

Amen :)

it hurts

2008-02-08T15:27:00.000+08:00

Not much of a celebration this new year.
I am so so tired of everything. emotionally.
Enough of all unhappiness around me and also happening to me.
Recently, i've grown quieter, and more expressionless.
I'm incapable of handling the things happening anymore.
I tried swallowing the tears and sometimes my heart hurts too much.
Even when i cry alone in my room, i could feel my heart aching so hard...
I tried seeking help, talking to people this time round, like all of you had talked me into sharing. But it didn't get any better.
So i choose to hide.

Too much to take. I need a break before I break.

it's finally over

2008-01-27T16:03:00.000+08:00

it's finally over!! I think that report is the longest i've ever completed for my whole life! I thought when i did my Graduation Project, it was already bad enough to write 10 over pages of solid words. But now... The Advertising Campaign in Planning and Management beats it to core!! I finished the race with 31 pages of typing and 3 adverts. Am really so proud of myself...

Oh wellz, it's now over and so phew! off they go, flying to Oklahoma! (:

The worst things to hear when you just finished your exam and feels so light-weighted: "lishan... you look so much haggard nowadays" and "your eyebags are so huge" -_-"'
People... some encouragement please... I've been losing my beauty sleep for donkey months... ):
So i came home, did my green bean mask, use the proper steps of facial, and had bird's nest with ginseng soup that my mom has lovingly cooked for me... (:

Alritey... Shall go orh orh alr! *oink*

Funny

2008-01-25T07:09:00.000+08:00

Amidst the stressful preparation of exam and madman-rush of assignment, jeraldongboshi sent me these photos and had me laughing away all the stress..

starring: jeraldongboshi, kalynchuahuiting, faithonglishan

(i tink jer looks like 大雄 in Doraemon)

(err... uglyzzzz n unglamzzz :p)

Alritey mighty.. Just for Laughs! "mummy! it's over..!!"
Back to books! :D

(look what assignment and exam have done to my mental state...)

still learning...

2008-01-22T16:00:00.000+08:00

Lishan still has lots to learn in her life, and right now, she's still learning... (:
I wanna:
1. continue my intermediate Korean lesson
2. learn guitar
3. learn bass guitar
4. take up more dance classes
5. read MORE books (all kinds of books)
6. learn how to handle my life well with God :)
7. be more knowledgable and wise.
(the list will go on... =p)

But shan needs to set up a "help-the-shan-fund" in order to carry out some of the above activities. =(

This is just a random post in the midst of my revision and chionging for assignment. Oh wellz... this often happens to me when it's stress-time.
Back to books! :D

p.s God! plsss grant me more creative juice for the ads! =(

I love You Lord

2008-01-21T13:50:00.000+08:00

It seems like a busy week that had just passed, a week that includes lots of emotional ups and downs as well...
Too tired from all the stress that comes from school stuffs and exams.
Yesterday went downtown east chalet to celebrate ting's birthday. Felt bad that I missed out weiling's celebration though... But the timings really clashed badly. =(
When i got to the chalet, most of the guests gone but some of the dance girls waited for me to arrive! How sweet can they be... =D
And, at the chalet my dearest ms piggy came down to find me!! :D
Really felt so 心痛 (heartache) when i saw your tired face and red eyes at 2+am, waiting for me at the entrance my dear... But at the same time, I really felt so loved. :) Thanks SO much for coming down and also for the company yesterday. If not for the jacket you brought down for me, I think I would've freezed to death that night. And so, yes, "I owe my life to you"! =p
Just to let you know.. You're someone whom i treasure dearly... (:
Most importantly...
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, chuahuiting!
HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY, weiling!

Anywaez...
This is a beautiful worship song that i wanna share with all! :)

I love You, Lord
Greater than anything
I love You, Lord
More than my heart can sing
I love You, Lord
More than I love myself
I love You Lord (x3)

I worship You
High above everything
I worship You
Oh that my heart would sing
I worship You
Oh let my life give praise
I worship You (x3)

I lift my hands
I am a sacrifice
I lift my hands
My body and soul the price
I lift my hands
All that I am is Yours
I lift my hands (x3)

Hallelujah, this is my song of praise
Hallelujah, I'll worship You all my days
Hallelujah, all that I am is Yours
Hallelujah (x3)

simplicity

2008-01-05T17:47:00.000+08:00

I just want a simple life with only one focus - God.
Maybe with a combination of highly intellectual brain and multiple emotions within us, humans are often very complicated.
But sometimes, our brain works exceedingly hard and made us think too much into an issue, while our colourful emotions got a hold on us, which in turn make our intellect frequency haywire.

Tired of thinking too much, Faith is now lookng forward to her simple life in this year of 2008 & she just wanna serve God with a pure heart.
Amen :)

Happy new year!

2008-01-02T13:48:00.000+08:00

2007 flew past just like that, and here we are embracing 2008.
It has been a year of great happenings and great people, a year that I came to know more about my friends and also about myself.

Thank you everyone in NUS unit A for the great countdown last night!
Cosy steamboat to replace expensive feast;
Lotsa sparklers to replace fireworks;
Nice empty playground to replace crowded town areas;
Movie marathon (Blood diamond, Norbit, 881) to replace $9.50 tickets;
Spongebob monopoly, bridge, & endless Citadels NOT at Minds or Settlers but Bo's.
I simply love pigging out with my NUSA2... (:

It has been a magical year and while looking forward to 2008, it's time to make some new year resolutions :)

Merry Xmas

2007-12-24T16:25:00.000+08:00

It's CHRISTmas time!
But having christmas in the midst of a chain of lessons isn't so much of a fun. I must admit that i'm thoroughly drained by the series of lessons, projects, work and meeting ups for christmas. Somehow, i'm so looking forward to next year's christmas where i can spend it in Oklahoma, amidst the white snow, and also taking a break.
My hectic life is driving me insane.
I am seriously depending solely on Him who gives me strength.
Leaning on myself can kill me. It's too tiring...

Sometimes i dunno if the way you reacted is true.
It's hard to tell when you change so readily.
It makes me scared of you, seriously.
What is friendship to you?

And also, i wanna say thanks to YOU.
Thanks for all the last minute frantic christmas shopping with me that made u so tired but u said nothing;
Thanks for bearing all my unreasonable attitudes;
Thanks for being a support to me.
What more can a say... Words aren't suffice... (:

彩虹

2007-12-11T03:44:00.000+08:00

New Jay Chou song that I think is lovely :)

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有云都跑到我这里
有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走你要离开

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

2007-12-08T03:33:00.000+08:00

I cry too easily...
Maybe it's becos i often choose to hide the sorrows at a deep corner of my heart, and whenever something strikes that sensitive part of me, my tears lose its hold and fell.
Nevertheless, I am still blessed.
Thank You God for being so real in my life.
Thank You friends who made my life so wonderful.
Thank You for adding a rainbow into my life.

It'll be Christmas soon! Let's be joyous and celebrate Christ's birth! =)

p.s. Missing Jer, and Ting, where are our happy outing days...?

=)

2007-11-21T18:09:00.000+08:00

Started the day with the dance performance in school, but this time both the instructors were unable to be with us. Stress mode especally for my dear president, linda. Thanks a lot for everything girl! Although the dance turned out quite messy, it's still a GREAT job done by all of us! Thanks for all the real hard work and love ya girls! ;)

After which, we went to my favourite stall in vivo - The Chicken Rice Shop! hahaz. Loves the food there and i proudly, gladly introduce that place to my dance dearies. Had a real hearty lunch after the performance with them, and piggy me went back home first to catch some rest.

Took a short nap at home and off to meet my favourite miss piggy! Good dinner at my another favourite place - Hog's Breath Cafe in Chjimes! The Alantic Salmon is swimming in my stomach now ;)
Wanted to go to the long awaited dempsey rd B&J, but it was raining so heavily and everyone seems to be taking a cab to wherever they wanna go. We, two poor souls without umbrella, walked to Raflles city to get cab but in vain. So we took a train down to orchard hoping to see lesser people at the taxi stand, but wellz, we expected a long queue and it was true... So, dempsey had to be put off to another time again... But we went to Indocine! =D The band, Cats in e Cradle, was really good! Miss piggy, pls go and brush up your guitar skills to be as good as them, so that you can play a song to me with that powderful guitar skills! Lol! (alrite.... am demanding... =p)
Got my surprise from miss piggy and... Fossil watch! =D

I really really love it a lot. You may not see a BIG smile on my face just now (sorry!) but that's becos in my heart, i'm more touched than just being happy. Thanks so much dear! =D
Though we still didn't make it to dempsey tonight, i don't feel sad at all. It's the company that matters and I truly enjoyed the night with you just now :)

Then, it was home sweet home for both of us.

this is the day the Lord has made! :D

2007-11-13T16:38:00.000+08:00

I've never felt so so so so blessed before in my whole life!
Just as i was happily counting down to my birthday, i thought it would be another birthday where i will receive lotsa birthday sms-es from those that i love n love me. But this year is really different... (: (: (:

Firstly, YOU called me to sing me the FIRST birthday song when the clock strikes 12. The joy that you sent to my heart brings a huge wide smile on my face.
Then, there came my dearie KALYN sending me a totally heart-smashing video with her singing a birthday song to me, presenting to me a virtual birthday cake! Girl, i just wanna tell you, i've never met such a sweet n thoughtful friend like you, who will do such sweet things to me in my whole life.. I LOVE YOU! :D the video was so touching that i cried with joy like a silly girl in front of the computer everytime i play it. Here it is...

After that, my primary school best friend JIAYUN (Vicole) wished me happy birthday! I thought she had long forgotten since we've not contacted each other for donkey yrs.. Thanks so much dear! :D
Not to forget, the celebration i had with my dear cg NUSA2 on sat! I love them loads too and thanks for all the wonderful planning! Thanks DAWN for the lovely bag! :D

Jesus, i thank You for placing them in my life and also for all the blessings.

Signing off with lotsa love & many thanks,
shan :)

happy 20th birthday to me!!!

2007-11-13T15:54:00.000+08:00

In 6 mins time, i'm gonna say goodbye to the teens' age and say hello to the BIG 20!!
Oh my goodness gracious, how do i not feel ambivalent?! Excited that my birthday is coming but sad that i can no longer be a youthful teenage girl anymore :(

Alright ppl, i simply LOVE counting down to my birthday each year, even if i hafta stay home and do that alone in my room! Lol! yea... that's me :D

Loves

2007-11-10T17:52:00.000+08:00

I decided to delete the previous message that makes the whole blog so emo. Unhealthy for all! Thus, here comes a happy post! =D

Just wanna thank Kalyn (ting), Jerald, Esther & ting's BF (siew yang) for the sweet surprise at PLAY Tuckshop this afternoon! I really didn't expect an ice cream as my birthday "cake", and seriously i tink we took 1001 pics (as usual) with that little scoop pf nutella ice cream... Lolz! But i love it anywayz! Thanks for the card & present too my dearest sweeties, becos it's really something that i've always been looking for, and i tink none can beat the sweet messages that u all wrote in the card for me :)
Loves the surprise, the card, the present, the place, the food, and most important of all, the company! :)

Then at night, it was another birthday celebration! But this time is for our dearest CL, bobo! (our nickname for bowen that is... =p) can see his really-surprised-face when the people (who were the surprise element) came in with the ice cream cake.. It's classic. Lolz! Really blessed a lot by this brother in Christ in my life in the NUS ministry. I've never seen such an encouraging and loving brother before, and i tink i really look up to him a lot! Let's jiayou together for His kingdom bro! :)
Happy 22nd birthday, bobo! =D

With all these happy moments, i shall sing, "So long, farewell..." :):):)

Lee Hyun Sun

2007-11-06T15:17:00.000+08:00

Koped this from Jerald's blog.. (mine is as above) Lol! :D

Follow the steps below to know ur Korean name!

I Surname: Korean surname is the last number in your year of birth-
0: Park
1: Kim
2: Shin
3: Choi
4: Song
5: Kang
6: Han
7: Lee
8: Sung
9: Jung

II Middle name: is your month of birth-
1: Yong
2: Ji
3: Je
4: Hye
5: Dong
6: Sang
7: Ha
8: Hyo
9: Soo
10: Eun
11: Hyun
12: Rae

III Name: is your date of birth-
1: Hwa
2: Woo
3: Joon
4: Hee
5: Kyo
6: Kyung
7: Wook
8: Jin
9: Jae
10: Hoon
11: Ra
12: Bin
13: Sun
14: Ri
15: Soo
16: Rim
17: Ah
18: Ae
19: Neul
20: Mun
21: In
22: Mi
23: Ki
24: Sang
25: Byung
26: Seok
27: Gun
28: Yoo
29: Sup
30: Won
31: Sub

Now what's your Korean name? :)

Westlife - Back Home

2007-11-03T05:26:00.000+08:00

Seriously, i feel like getting this new release of Westlife.

They used to be my favourite and the new songs this time round are really worth listening... The song playing in my blog currently is Westlife's version of "Home", originally sung by Micheal Bublé.

Now am just waiting for the album to be available online (if u get wad i mean... =p) or any kindhearted soul wanna get it for me? =p

Random thoughts of u

2007-11-03T01:46:00.000+08:00

Just simply feeling random...
I'm truly glad to see the growth in u.
People have been telling me the change and i see it... (:

I'm not sure when it started, or even how it started.
Was it the long chat or just the mere outer impression?
Slowly, it crept into the hearts and confused the minds.
The expressions are clear enough, don't they?
Maybe it's because of the uncertainty and unconfirmed situation, we're becoming control freaks. How are we going to handle all that is going to come?

Status - It's complicated.

SDT @ Shanghai

2007-10-31T08:20:00.000+08:00

They made the headline news of most papers during the Singapore Season at China! Our very own Singapore Dance Theatre (SDT) has not visited China for long and when we made a comeback, the performance absolutely left a deep impression on the Shanghainese.

25 October, SDT presented a triple bill of contemporary dance works at the Shanghai Grand Theatre - Negro Y Blanco (Black and White) by Jeffrey Tan (Singapore), Les Noces (The Wedding) by Marie-Claude Pietragalla (France) and Piazolla's Four Seasons by Mauricio Wainrot (Argentina).
More info on the performance, visit
http://www.singaporedancetheatre.com/highlights/sdt_goes_to_china.asp
or
http://www.singaporeseason.com/en/events_shanghai.aspx?eventsid=20070704964995857309

Well... Since this whole event is in China, of cos i didn't have the chance to watch it. But at least some nice pictures of the dances helped me to catch some glimpse of it :)
Some of you might not know, but SDT has always, sort of, been my dream dance company that i wanted to join. Been to their lessons when i was 16 and i really loved it though i admit that it's 魔鬼训练 everyday. But the instructors were good, and i must say Fort Canning Park does help a little in adding on to the artistic atmosphere of SDT dance studios.
Do catch choreographies by Jeffrey Tan people! He was once my Ballet teacher and i guess it's only after attending his classes that i learn how to appreciate the gracefulness and art of ballet. (well, i hated ballet lessons before that...) And i guess what struck me the most is his talents in it cos he started late in his dance career, but made it big just becos of... the TALENT.
Hope the Triple-bill will be presented in our very own "Durian" (Esplanade) when the company is back to sg! :)

Alrite... Now is back-to-my-books time again... Exam in 88hrs & 40mins time...
I seriously DISLIKE politics :(

People

2007-10-25T15:54:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought i'm at a sheltered place, things aren't as simple as i thought they were. Maybe it's part of being an adult - being complex. But it's making me perplex. Serious.

I'm hurt by the way the truth turns out to be. But i won't confront you. It's only myself to blame i guess, leaving myself so off-guarded and open. Don't wish to talk about it anymore...

Recently i'm addicted to 3 songs:
Girls Aloud - Hopelessly devoted to you
Janice - Never let you go.
Enrique Iglesias - Do you know
they're under the EXTRAS section :)

Janice - Never let you go
The rain just never seems to bring the joy,
I feel the same,
Everlasting pain of my loss remains,
My heart can't seem to learn to part,
The hold you left your mark,
All that I dreamed of now it seem so stark,
Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in,

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

The way you left me on the train,
I don't know what to say,
I remember everything of that day,
I can't believe we'd never dance,
I just need one more chance,
To share the sunset,
Our one last romance,
Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now but give in,

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

Dempsey Rd

2007-10-19T14:03:00.000+08:00

I've been taking 174 for donkey years and i never realised it actually passes by Dempsey Rd?! hahaz!
well... went there with my usual favourites, and we basically camwhored throughout the whole trip - from B&J to Harry's! Don't worry, i still heartz you guys a lotz! :D
I really really LOVE the B&J there! So so much nicer than the one at The Cathay. (or maybe cos am v sick of cathay already... =p)
There's bus Suzie and swings chairs too. And on the evening that we went, there's a large cute barbie doll birthday cake for a little girl!
The kid + the barbie doll cake = super duper adoralicious!

Then we went ahead to chill at the bar opposite B&J - Harry's!
It's rather quiet there that day cos the band is not performing. But the radio did entertained us quite a bit with all the mambo jambo songs! We're all we-love-mambo-music-kids! hahaz.. Huge platter with half spring chicky is what we had over there. I love the platter a lot seriously. (Or was it becos i'm hungry?) hahaz!

I wanna go back to the B&J at Dempsey again!
YOU promised me, so you better bring me there one day ;)

Bus stops

2007-10-05T16:55:00.000+08:00

I guess i really hafta kick that bad habit of dozing off on the bus cos i missed my stop twice in a week and i had to take a cab.

1st: dozed off on express 502, and i didn't know express buses dun go back to interchange. So, when i woke up, i found myself at some unfamiliar road. As i was at the upper deck, the bus uncle didn't know there's still a passenger on his bus. I went down to the lower deck only to find out that the bus is already off service. So, uncle dropped me at some ulu sapulu factory road call International Rd. (tell me if anyone even heard of this road name...) So, i had to take a cab home and thank God, there's still cab in sight.

Btw... I tink cab drivers are lonely people who needs ppl to interact with them. Becos, in that short $5 trip that night, the uncle talked to me about his son from where he study to what he study to wad he plans to do in future to army stuffs. That was really quite a bit...

2nd: Overslept again on bus 123 while going to queenstown campus for dance practice. Thank God, the bus goes to Bukit Merah interchange, but i hafta take a cab down cos i'm already late :(

I shall master my parking skills and start memorizing some routes so that i can drive out :)

Tagged

2007-10-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

Hi people! I just came back from Genting with my famly! So happy to have a time of total relaxing and resting over there manz.... But Genting is becoming such a common hangout to me all of the sudden... This year, it's the 3rd time i went Genting! hahaz..
And to my 'horror', i've been tagged by dearie Dawn (quite long ago) to post 6 weird things abt myself... Ok.. This is gonna be hard ok... I might even need to sacrifice my sleep just to do this! Lolz.. Just kidding! Here it is...

Rules: Each player of the game starts off by writing 6 weird things about themselves before choosing another 6 of their friends to sabotage. People who get tagged needs to write in a blog on their own, 6 weird things about themselves and state the rules clearly.

Here goes:
1. I laugh or smile to myself when i thought of something funny on the bus or train.. You noe... let my thoughts run wild... ^_- Alright... this sounds lil' spastic but i thot it's quite common... no..? keke..

2. I go cranky very easily especially when I'm very tired. So I'll started blabbering things that people dun really understand, and sometimes I myself dun really know wad i'm talking about too.. (:

3. I love to sing out LOUD when i'm alone at home or sometimes in the toilet (regardless of showering or doing business... (Dun ask me how to do business when am toking ok... it's a gifting as well i guess ;))

4. I dun love Pink but I've got a pink pencil case, pink skin for my mp3, pink file, pink pens, pink highlighter, quite a few pink tops, and maroon (close to pink) specs. Btw, my favourite colour is ORANGE :)

5. My room is in a total complete mess that i dunno how to pack it at times. It looks like tornado just visited my room. But, there are times when it's neat as well k....

6. I like to roll on the bed like a 'sausage' after I wake up every morning because i simply hate the feeling of getting out of bed after a nice sleep.. Anywayz, i love to eat sausages/hot dogs! (sama sama la...)

Tag: Kalyn, Jerald, Irene, Jessica, Kerren, Rui si.

Ain't good enough...

2007-09-25T17:02:00.000+08:00

Maybe i'm just not good enough..
I feel that Im drifting further and further away from all of you..
You guys are doing things that i don't even know you people planned it until the day itself.. It may be unintentional but I just wanna let you guys know that all these little things are hurting me unknowingly...
Some of the other peeps might even say, "it's too bad, lishan".
Nobody will care about this post anywayz...

If that's the case, leave me alone.

Behind those smiles, there are dark clouds...

Road of Life

2007-09-13T03:44:00.000+08:00

Life is a parcel of never-ending busy-ness and contradicting emotions.
Too many crossroads to meet, too many decisions to make.
It feels good to cry out sometimes like i did a few days back.
Don't worry, people. I'm fine. I just need a way to let out my feelings and some time to heal.
But I'm thankful, for God put great things and people into my life. (:

Deeper in Love

2007-09-13T03:32:00.000+08:00

There is a longing only You can fill
A raging temptest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I'm known
Drink from the river
That flows before your throne

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied

Queer

2007-08-20T12:19:00.000+08:00

It has been a gloomy day for me today... Might be because of the rain.
"Lord, I feel like dancing..." Indeed, i feel like dancing today. I wish and wish upon the star that one day i'll have a dance studio in my house! Haa..
Agreed Georgia to help out in hope kids musical as a dancer as well, and I'm actually quite looking forward to it. Kids are just so adorable and irresistable. =)

It was an emotional day yesterday... I see people being tired, unhappy, cried, etc. Somehow, I thank God for Wanqi da penguin, and Kalyn, for they're the happyness-inducing people last night. =)

Watched The Secret with one big group of people which consist two groups of friends (status: it's complicated). The movie was good; the plot was good, the piano skills of the actors and actresses were simply fantabulous. It made me regret giving up piano for a moment. Saw a group of cello in the show as well and it made me miss playing it loads...
4.5 stars (worth watching!)

p.s. 女人何苦为难女人...?

Back-Dating

2007-08-16T16:28:00.000+08:00

I'm back to my blog! (by chance actually...) hahaz! I've been feeling lazy to blog.

Much has happened in my life recently. Been to esplanade library twice this month to study thanks to Jerald, but i like it there. Although it's not really quiet but it's rather conducive. It can make you feel very artsy even if you're not the arty farty kind! Lolz! There was once when an auntie sat beside me and started sight-reading (i believe she has got the tune in mind as well) a stack of complicated music scores. I was like "wah!!" cos she really dun look like those music-inclined kind. I'm sorry, auntie! Never judge a book by it's cover.. hahaz! Took lots of pics again with my dearie kalyn and jer (as usual) and I feel like a tourist! I love this feeling and wanna do that again! hahaz! And on that day, we went to Haji Lane and hit on a shop call Pitch Black! It's really pitch black up stairs and they're got movie showings too! So cool! Their food is nice as well but a lil' pricey.. Heez..

Started working at a guys' grooming shop call "what He wants" at The Cathay.. Don't have a good experience with the boss there and i'm still contemplating on quitting this job right now. I dun wish to talk about the unhappy past incident anymore. I just wish that no more such incidents would happen cos it really hurts my heart too much. Bad for health... =(

Supper at newton with some of my CG peeps on monday! It's really really wonderful cos i have a fetish for supper. Had 2 plates of oyster omelette, huge fried carrot cake, chicky wings! Was hoping for stingray but we couldn't find the beehive-hair-auntie who sells great stingray, and only met her after we're full.. What a waste! But it's ok! There's always next time.. Hahaz! But i still think newton's food is a little pricey cos it's catered for tourists... Those who have cars and can drive me home, let's go for supper! Lolz..

Watched Rush Hour 3 on friday and i'll give it 4 stars! Chris tucker is really a great comedian and Jackie Chan's fighting is still as swift as ever. Some says Rush Hour 2 was better but i couldn't remember it. But part 3 is not bad by itself too! :)

Another recommended movie is 881! It's a chinese movie but almost 90% of the time is spoken in Hokkien. But don't worry! You've got both Eng and Chi subtitles to help you along those chim hokkien slang.. Lolz! I would give it 5 stars! A very touching show as i can't remember how many times i had wiped my tears away during the 110 mins show. It's about Seventh month Getai and this show is mainly produced in remembrance of the late Getai hot star, Chen Jin Lang who died a year ago... The show is a must-watch!! :)

against all odds; with faith

2007-07-25T15:57:00.000+08:00

Just went to the channel newasia website and read about the 23 South korean christians who were held as hostages:
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/afp_asiapacific/view/290148/1/.html

Browsed through the topics or rather, the titles of the news under the asia pacific section as well. Depressing indeed. News around us are getting more and more depressing each day. It ranges from our mother Earth facing crisis to wars, hostages, border issues, epidemics... Ambivalent, because I don't know if i should be scared or should I be glad. The book of Revelations seems to be brought to life before my eyes - The Lord is coming.

Why am I still here thinking about the small little unhappiness I face in my life?
Why am I still here wasting my time away when there's little to spare?
Why are people around me still concern about things that revolve around themselves, and only themselves?

Is the army of God ready for the battle against the evil?
Ephesians 6:14-18
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

HAPPY day!

2007-07-22T16:25:00.000+08:00

It's a sunny yellow banana day! So happy today because of:

1. Last day of tutorial, start of break!
2. Tried the famous PS foodcourt's indonesian grilled food!
3. Did shopping!
4. Took pretty neo prints with ting & kerren for the first time since donkey yrs ago!
5. Service was refreshing & i got to see those precious bros n sis again after alpha camp!
6. My sheep joined us for dinner after service!
7. My brother bought TWO big boxes of Donuts from Jakarta's donut factory!
(heavenly air flown bread)

I'm gonna smile in my dreams today...
Good nitez world! :))))))))))))

emo emo

2007-07-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

It's freakin' 2 plus am in the morning, and i can't get to sleep...
And i'm here typing the 3rd post of the day, and this isn't healthy at all...
Becos... I'm getting emo here...

Lots of problems in my life that i didn't share. Not that i dun wanna share, but it's becos i dunno hwo to share. And i dun wish to affect people with my problems. So, sometimes, i'll just keep quiet. I may tell you that i'm tired, but i may not be really physically tired. But it's because my mind is tinking about those problems, and it becomes tiring for me to strike a conversation or even participate in one... So, i choose to keep quiet. I'm very sorry about it, friends.

I wish to know more about myself, I wish to know deeper. But sometimes, it's hard to fully understand urself. (u get wat i mean..?)

taggies

2007-07-20T17:24:00.000+08:00

Was blog hopping, and i realise i can't get access to some tag boards. it says 403 forbidden. So wat's that man... And some taggies didn't manage to show when i click the button... zzz...
Anywayz,

To Esther: Saw your post on "granted".. Well, it happens to me as well.. But i guess it doesn't affect me anymore cos i'm used to it... Dun care... Let's go play together cos EXAM IS OVER! :D

To durga: It's seems long since we last tok to each other! Why?!?!

To cheryl (lim): pls update! urs is older than mine! lolz..

the Good Old Times

2007-07-20T16:46:00.000+08:00

yes, mr jerald, i'm here to update.. Lolz. It's actually not very long since i last update wat... It's just 10 days! lolz!

Busy week that just passed. Went to alpha camp while i'm in the midst of preparing for ANGW exam.. Lolz! For the exam, 17 questions, used up two booklets and ALL chapters were tested. (I was hoping to escape from some chaps... zzz...) Tough one there, but well... it's over!! =D
Anywayz, the camp was great! Thanks to muah chee (wanqi), the camp was made fun becos of YOU! Thanks for all the support you gave me physically and spiritually during the camp! Love ya! :) It was also a great time to know more about the freshies too. Deeper friendship built and quality time spent. You guys are so precious to us and even more to God! :)

Had a sec school fren gathering today (or rather yesterday cos it's past midnight). It's really great to see the girls again, catching up on our lives, etc.. And we actually sat in cartel for FOUR full hours just eating, talking, eating, talking, eating and more talking! Anything and everything under the sun can be our topic, and time passes by very quickly for us!
I miss all the yak-ings we did during lesson time in class, i miss laughing hysterically with all of you, i miss going for recess time with all of you, i miss doing all sorts of funny things with all of you... I MISS THE TIMES WE HAD IN SEC SCH! I just wish i have a time machine and i can just go back to my sec sch days for a while. Just a while will do, cos i dun want to be greedy... (:

More catching up to do with all my other frens! But i hardly got free time off my hand. Missed the NJCO gathering tonight as well cos it clashes with the girls' gathering.. I'm so sorry guys! Wanna meet up with grace, yuxian, eunice, my 04s06 as well!! :( I miss them... At least i got to meet cheryl (lee) tmr!! yay! i miss talking to her! (girl, u better read this.. lolz)

And my dearie ting and jer, i still wanna meet up with u guys too although i see both of u SO often.. We'll go play together when ting recovers, ok? :)

Get well soon Ting! (i demand u to get more rest, girl)
Jiayou Renee for your dance performance tmr!! =D
(dun tink she'll read this post though...)

mugging mode

2007-07-12T13:41:00.000+08:00

It's really been very very long since i last mugged for an exam. You know, like really study for an exam..? it's also the first time in my entire MDIS life that i've done so much homework. The last time i mugged and did so much homework was before A levels i guess (which was like 1 yr plus ago!) hahaz!
Time flies.. Whenever people mention sec 3 or 4 students, i always thought i was not much older than that age. But i was wrong! I am actually FOUR year older than those sec 4 kids! (omgg) well... i miss being young, i miss being called a kid.

Went to NDP'07 rehearsal last sat with mom. Had a great time there, as i haven't really spent time with mom for very long. This year's ndp is held on a floating platform (on top of S'pore river) at Marina, and i guess it's the first time parade is held near water area (on top of water in fact), it gives a sense of novelty to all. It's much more windy than at national stadium. Performers don't really have a back stage thingy, so we can see them walking in and out of the stage (cool for us but not for performers =p). Many water performances or stunts are shown by the SAF, liek showing us the water combats etc.. To me, they're all just speed boats that can really turn fast. hahaz! Controller aeroplanes (dunno if it's called that) stunts were also cool! First time seeing so many of them flying around. Lolz! Thanks to the primary school kids who went for that rehearsal, fireworks were shown and we actually got to watch them! As usual, it was spectecular. But somehow, i feel that the atmosphere wasn't as good as it was at national staudium. Or maybe it's the crowd that we sat with that day, cos it might be better if i sat with the students :)

Ok... I think i have this weird habit of changing blogskins when i feel a little stress.. Hahaz.. I don't know why, so don't ask me why.
It's not like I haven't shopped or gone out for long, but i have this urge to go out till very late at night, and enjoy the day playing at the beach, shopping spree, or even just to chill out at some cafe. Sigh.... I wanna go out.

Jiayou and Good luck to all my dearies taking exam and rushing assignments! :)

Happy Birthday Kerren xiao mei mei!
Happy early Birthday my sweet Georgia (Bathsheba =p) !

Dancing to Him

2007-06-26T18:02:00.000+08:00

WAM night performance was a blast! It may not be very very awesome to some people, but all of us did our best! We really put our hearts all out for God to present this drama-cum-dance production, and I think to God, as long as we did our best and our hearts are for Him, He'll tink that it's the best too! that's how wonderful my God is :D

It's the same feeling again...
I miss my dancers, dancing at the corridor of SMU till the security guard chase us off...
I miss all of the people who acted, who danced in the other dances...
I miss the times we stay back till late at nexus to get things right...
BUT, I also wanna thank God for all of them. For without their talents, commitment and their heart, everything won't be possible.

alritey... I'm someone who dun like separations but embraces new encounters with people.
I love God and I love the folks He has put in my life :)

haywired

2007-06-24T06:22:00.000+08:00

Maybe there's something wrong with mybrain or maybe i'm just plain tired. I've been experiencing giddy spells quite frequently lately.

Was trying to force myself to be hardworking in doing the 100 mcq pre-test. It actually took me two solid hours! I thought i would die from it...

Yesterday was talking to ting on the phone at 3am (!!!) in the morning, before the rooster crows, and i didn't realise that i was so loud that even my mom n bro who was in another room could her what i said! And i even had my room doors closed then! I guess i have to practise volume control in the middle of the night =p

Okie! I'm going for church service now! Mon is my dnce performance, and please wish me luck cos everything seems so last minute... May God bless the performance :)

overwhelming joy

2007-06-21T17:19:00.000+08:00

It 2 am now, and i couldn't get to sleep. I guess there's just overwhelming joy that God has poured into my heart this week.

Mon:
I manage to finish writing the profile! Thanks jerry for the company to give me motivation to study and to satisfy my shopping sprees. Lolz. T'was a great great day to feel accomplished :)

Tues:
I was rotting at home, trying to type the assignments into my computer and to "reconcile" with my lappie cos my bro just returned from saudi and returned my precious charger. But, I thank God for this day to rest a little more and to really make my prescence felt that day cos i went shopping with my mom and sis! It's been a real long time since the 3 of us went out together to shop. I really appreciate this small amount of time God provided me :)

Wed:
It was a busy day, and I thought i'll be tired. But instead i felt that i was nourished by God. I can feel that my desire to read His word is becoming stronger and stronger day by day, and I'm really glad to feel that way.
Was late for meeting huilian, michelle and ash for campus tour in the morning cos i overslept but the whole campus turned out well at the later part of the day! It was a great opportunity placed by God in front of us to know more about huilian and even her views on christianity. I was seriously so excited to share it to the cg members just now! And... the the rest of the day was spent in tutoring, dance lesson in school (which was quite relax today), and CG! On my way home after cg, i met guanrui at teh bus interchange and took the same bus. Somehow, it's just great to see a brother on the streets randomly like that. (Or is it just me who's in my own rainbow world that i feel joy in everything i do today? =p)
Anywayz, i love my rainbow world :)

I wonder what's going to be in stall for me for the rest of the week! Btw... I realise i've been whining and complaining too much. So friends, if u find me whining again, please tell me, cos i wanna get that outta my life. Lolz. Isn't it great for u guys too that you guys won't won't hear me whine anymore? hahaz!

In short, i love my God, i love my family, i love my family in christ, i love my GFs, i love my BFFs :)

blessed

2007-06-09T14:32:00.000+08:00

Oh well! I think I've got GREAT friends who are fighting to care for me...
(looking at my cbox --->)
Or... Do you people just wanna be POPULAR??? lolz!!
I shall put the song popular in my list of song tracks if i can find it, k?!
Check it out u popular peeps! lolz! :)

emotions

2007-06-04T17:35:00.000+08:00

I hardly update my blog now... Not that i'm lazy to blog. But sometimes, I just find it meaningless to blog things like what have i done today, etc. And it's a not that everyday of my life has got something interesting to tell... So, pardon me if i didn't blog for long.

My life journey seems to be on a fast forward track. Everyday pass by very quickly and i'm running for time. I am not wonderwoman, and I am not a robot. Even a robot needs a rest. I find myself running from places to places, doing things that i ought to do. I'm not complaining about my busy schedule cos i guess that's how an average singaporean life would be like. But i'm just feeling a little sad for my life. When can I have just a short time all by myself or maybe just me and my God, as i take a quiet stroll in a beautiful park, admiring the wonderful creations of God? I only need a time just to listen to the birds' lullaby, to see the flowers shining brightly towards the sun, the butterflies showing off their pretty garments. I need to be away. Away from people and all the troubles and all the noises of the city.

Many times, you see a smile on my face, but i'm seriously tired inside (not just physically). I do cry... But i don't like to cry in front of people. I prefer to cry when i'm alone.
Friends, sometimes i don't like to share or talk about how i feel face to face. Simply becos, i couldn't put the feelings into words at that point of time. I will share when i want to share or even when i think i could not handle it anymore or that i need someone to be with me.

Life is tiring. I'm glad i still have Him. The peace that you provided that day, no one has ever given to me. It feels great to be 'at home'. (:
http://www.donghaeng.net/english/main.htm

why does it hurt so much?

2007-05-23T18:07:00.000+08:00

I just got to know that a friend's friend passed away in a car accident. He's certainly sad about it, but he's using the strength of the friendship between them to carry on his life vibrantly, courageously in remembrance of the dead.

After reading that blog, i was chatting with another friend of mine. And this one, is trying to waste his time away.

To my dearest friend:
I know you might be reading this. Sometimes we take things slowly and some things we can't rush. So, i'm giving you time to get over your depression over the matter. But please promise me that you won't let yourself sink into it till you drown in it. Our doors are always open for you. You may not want to take that step of courage now. But hiding doesn't solve the problem, and you can't hide forever. We may miss the old times, the old you. But even if you're transformed after this incident, we want to see a positive transformation. Just wanna tell you... we miss you.

being away

2007-05-09T13:59:00.000+08:00

Was away for a while, went to an awesome genting trip, and another eye-opening taiwan trip.
Love both trips and seriously enjoyed hell lots.
Didn't do a lot of shopping for both trips but i realise i eat a lot a lot a lot. Like there's no tomorrow. Now, weighing machines are my no. 1 enemy. I'm lazy to blog about everything, but i just wanna say, THANK YOU for everyone who came into my life. Friends at Genting, all of u made the trip worthwhile. My family who provided for me at Taiwan, all the photo-taking and eating have already compensated my shopping loss long ago. (:

For photos of both trips, i'll try to upload it to my friendster asap (i'm lazy).

Tomorrow...

2007-04-25T14:23:00.000+08:00

They were talking about passion and aspirations. It seems like i'm doing what most of my friends are doing right now... Getting an education. So why do i need an education? To acquire knowledge. In the process of expanding our intellectual capabilities, we also learn to discover our own innate talent. So what happens when you finally know where your interests lie? You have aspirations, be it big or small. But what happens is that in the process of growing up, not everything is within your control. You may have your interests and aspirations, but we also limitations in this world.
Some people wanna earn big money. But can those material things in the world satisfy your perennial desires? Some people have talents. Great talents. But what happens to them? Their talents are not recognised by the world. You may have passion. But how far can your passion carry you? Not everyone can earn a living with just passion.
I don't know what will happen to me tomorrow, or even the next moment. Suddenly, I feel so uncertain of what i'm doing to my life now. We're trying so hard, always running for time, but what are we chasing after?
Can my aspirations be achieved even when i try hard enough? My capabilities. Do i even have one? So where is my confidence? How long more do i have to run this long marathon call LIFE?

Tired. Baffled. In tears.
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holiday is here!

2007-04-24T14:46:00.000+08:00

I wanna shout... YAY!!!
No more long reports to write, no more presentation, no more deadlines to meet!
hahaz! i shall declare that it's officially my one month holiday now! whee~!
i'll be going Genting this coming weekend with my cool frens, come back for 2 days, before i fly off to Taiwan with my family! Just thinking about it makes me feel so happy *grinning from ear to ear now* :))))

Just to tell everyone who has asked about it, i'm feeling fine now about my watch.
Well... it's just material stuffs, so no point getting upset about it for long.. Life has to go on! So, put down all unhappiness and troubles, and enjoy your life to the fullest now! ;)

OK peeps, i miss the beach. (hinting to those pretty babes in my class...) who wanna go to the preeetty beach with me after i come back from Taiwan , and before school starts again?? =p